'Dancing With the Stars: All-Stars' recap: Hoe-down showdown

By Allyssa Lee

Oct. 30, 2012 12 AM PT

Thoughts were with those braving the storms in the East, but in the glitterverse the forecast was high and dry with a chance of twang during Country Week on “Dancing With the Stars: All-Stars.” The sixth week of competition was themed to match the Country Music Awards (also airing on ABC), and we were treated to down-home versions of ballroom standards, in addition to a country-themed group freestyle dance.

To kick off the proceedings, Little Big Town gave us a ride on the “Pontoon” accompanied by a cowboy hat-wearing, toe-tapping “DWTS” Troupe.

And the evening ended with the freestyle country group dance, set to a medley of Big & Rich’s “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy” (a.k.a., the freestyle song that won Drew Lachey and Cheryl Burke the Mirrorball back in Season 2) and Cowboy Troy’s “I Play Chicken With the Train” (Season 14 champ Donald Driver and Peta Murgatroyd’s freestyle song). The rehearsals were in a room that featured a backdrop that looked like it was taken from the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride at Disneyland. Choreographed by Kevin Maher, the country-western in-line steps initially succeeded in immediately confusing our all stars. Emmitt Smith wanted to quit. Kelly Monaco felt like she and Val Chmerkovskiy were the losers in the group, and quickly took refuge in her partner’s arms (at which Louis Van Amstel voiced the sentiments of an entire nation and said, “Get a room”). Apolo Anton Ohno felt like the jackass in the corner. Gilles Marni showed up late wearing a bedazzled white vest and fringe chaps and was immediately told he was at the wrong party – the Village People were rehearsing down the hall. And Shawn Johnson did a lop-sided flip over Sabrina Bryan’s back and messed up her knee.

PHOTOS: ‘DWTS: All-Stars’: Who’s been booted?

The dance ended up a rootin’ tootin’ good time all around, and like any other good hoe-down, just two cowboy ticks short of chaos. But was it worth the two extra points? It was for Kirstie Alley and Maks Chmerkovskiy, who were smart enough to highlight their best, um, ass-ets (Maks’ butt) during their short solo and were awarded that bonus to their, erm, bottom line, keeping them out of last place.

We were also treated to not one, but two perfect-30 scores — the first of the season. How did the other couples stack up? Here’s a rundown:

Country night came with a lot of feeling for Sabrina Bryan, as hers and Louis Van Amstel’s song for the week, Hunter Hayes’ “Wanted,” reminded Sabrina of a previous relationship with a drug addict and her helpless feelings as to what to do about it. Louis Van Amstel took all of Sabrina’s raw emotion and crafted an emotion-packed rumba around it, reminding Sabrina that sometimes, imperfection can be beauty in the dance, too. And the crowd really picked up on the pair’s passion, rising to their feet by the end of the routine. Bruno called it a “sumptuous sequence of intriguing shape” that “always had an emotional thread running through.” He also said Sabrina’s solo was “seamless.” Carrie Ann credited Sabrina for finally letting her vulnerability shine through. “This is the true beauty of the dance,” she said. “You were dancing from your heart.” Len liked that the music was soft and quiet, but at times, the dance was full and strong. “It was fantastic,” he smiled. Sabrina and Louis received a score breakthrough for their emotional breakthrough: The first perfect 30 of the season. Their combined total from last week: 88.5 out of 90.

PHOTOS: ‘DWTS: All-Stars’: Who’s been booted?

Turned out a fight right before performance was the reason for the odd disconnect between Apolo Anton Ohno and Karina Smirnoff during last week’s “Give It To Me Baby” samba. And they know that in order to get back on track and achieve a real breakthrough performance, Apolo needed to really open and be emotional during his Viennese waltz to Rascal Flatts’ “Skin,” about a woman who battles cancer, and the only time she feels secure is in the arms of a loved one. Apolo knew he needed to go to a place to show emotions he’d never shown before. And this routine really brought the emotion, the technicality, and the choreography together. Karina had great turns to match her great dress. And finally, they seemed to come together as a couple. “Apolo!” Len said. “Son of Zeus, Roman god of light and music. And that’s what that was.” Bruno said it was “graceful, fluid, weightless—your involvement with Karina was the best I’ve ever seen.” “Dance without emotion is just movement for movement’s sake. That’s not what I saw,” Carrie Ann said sagely. “It was just poetry in motion, and it was nice to see you connect in that way.” Apolo and Karina were rewarded handsomely for their transcendent efforts with the second perfect 30 of the night. Total: 86.5.

Melissa Rycroft got the OK to dance last week, but after the drugs she had taken to dance last week had worn off, she couldn’t move her neck again. It scared her. What scared her more, though, was letting Tony down. I love that Melissa and Tony care about each other so much. And Melissa wants to win as much for Tony as she does herself. Anyway, the last time Tony received a 10 was in Season 8 (with her) and Melissa felt the pressure in the solo to repeat it. Turned out Melissa had nothing to worry about, as hers and Tony’s campfire Viennese waltz was exceedingly lovely. Tender and sweet and warm and gooey, just like a nicely crafted s’more. Melissa looked great with her half top and hair down, and the fire and pines gave a nice warmth to the routine. It was enough to get Len standing up and clapping. “Great technique and wonderful movement,” he said. “You got the how, and you got the wow.” Bruno said Melissa’s solo was “absolutely exquisite” and likened it to Cyd Charisse’s solo in the forest from ‘Brigadoon.” “Weightless, fluid, lyrical, amazing extension,” he said. “It was really like love in the great outdoors.” Carrie Ann said Melissa had “the most beautiful lines,” though she also thought the former Bachelorette wasn’t “dancing out enough.” Carrie Ann maintained she had a woman’s intuition of the group. Bruno dared to differ. Still, Melissa and Tony got two 10s and a 29.5 altogether for their Viennese waltz. Combined total: 86.

Melissa wasn’t the only one nursing an injury this week. Shawn Johnson and Derek Hough’s chances at winning another Mirrorball were seriously threatened when the knee injury that took the gymnast out of Olympic contention acted up again. The worst thing was that it happened when Shawn and Sabrina were “messin’ about” during country freestyle rehearsals. Shawn, understandably, was upset. “I’ve messed it up again,” she said tearfully. And it meant Derek had to pare down their cha cha a little bit. And maybe spend a couple bars on a tractor. Though, to be fair, the dance was set to Kenny Chesney’s “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy” (wha?!). So why wouldn’t they drive in on a tractor? Also, tractors exist on farms, so ostensibly, there would be a cow in the corner. So what’s with cranky Len’s claims of “frippery” and “gimmicks?” Didn’t Melissa and Tony have a campfire? Wasn’t there a humongous parrot in the corner of Emmitt and Cheryl’s samba? Why’s he crying foul on this now? The other judges didn’t seem to mind. “Forget about the tractor – you are the sexy one!” Bruno crowed. “It was so beautifully done and so synchronized.” Carrie Ann also thought it was great “how you fused the two styles together.” She also loved how Shawn articulates every movement. Her only gripe was Shawn’s “stiff” solo (which, also, may be due to the fact that her knee was injured). “I think you’re better than you’re solo,” she said. “It was a little bit safe.” Shawn & Derek received another punitively low score from Len and a 28 total for their samba. Another bad score next week, and I’m calling frippery. Combined total: 84.5.

What do you get when you pair a Frenchman and Kiwi for a country western theme routine? A cha cha, set to Shania Twain’s “Man, I feel like a Woman” featuring Gilles Marini and Peta Murgatroyd. Peta visited Gilles at the “Switched at Birth” craft services table to make sure he got his solo down. She also outfitted him in a low-cut mesh shirt to make sure he…felt like a woman? (Tom aptly called it a “’How the West Hollywood Was Won’ outfit.”) Or maybe to get the Bruno vote. The flamboyant judge said he didn’t know what country the resulting cha cha was from, but said he wanted to visit. He also said Gilles’ solo made him “ready for center stage” even though “the footwork wasn’t as clean as it could have been.” Len thought it was “a little bit loose in the legs” (maybe it was all that latex, which made his legs like an oil slick), but the head judge liked Gilles’ “attack.” Carrie Ann took precautions and tied herself to her seat before giving her critique. She found the routine “so creative and classy and sexy,” but warned Gilles to “get rid of your T-Rex hands.” Gilles & Peta received a 27.5 for their cha cha. Combined total: 84.

Emmitt Smith has to do a solo during his country-themed fox trot with Cheryl Burke? “What the front door is going on?” The former Dallas Cowboy and Season 4 champ never had to do a 20-second solo before, so he had to reach deep into his NFL days to dig up these two maxims in order to keep his eyes on the prize during this tough second half of this season. “If you can’t play with pain, you can’t play the game,” and “It’s mind over matter: If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.” And their fox trot to the Dolly Parton/Kenny Rogers classic “Islands in the Stream” started out cute, with Emmitt and Cheryl playing a couple grinning at each other on a seat swing at the county fair, but then quickly devolved from there. But turns out the half-executed movements and lack of timing were just a precursor to Emmitt’s awesome solo, which had twice the energy and triple the country moves that the rest of the routine did. Bruno thought at times Emmitt “lost a couple of passes” but “overall, I thought it was a country fun fair.” Carrie Ann said he was off timing and out of sync, “but you did redeem yourself on the solo.” Len simply said Emmitt was “easy like Sunday morning.” Lack of finesse? Maybe. But “fun to watch.” Emmitt and Cheryl received a 26.5 for their fox trot. Combined total: 82.5.

Turns out Kirstie Alley is filled with tears. Both in sadness and in happiness. She also is filled with high fives, like the one she gave partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy for not landing at the bottom of the leader board last week. But the actress is also 60, and needs mini breaks. She’s busy. She’s got a new book. She has to talk to Barbara Walters about her new book, and her grueling dance schedule. But all that strife turned into smoke during their “Home” rumba. Which was country in the most cursory ways, like in Maks’ cowboy hat (which he discarded right at the beginning) and his vaguely country shirt, which merely served to frame his bare chest. I thought their routine was a bit simple, but Carrie Ann thought it was “passionate” and Kirstie was “sexy.” “Every movement was gorgeous,” she said. Len thought it was clean and clear an classy, but wanted a bit more hip action and quality of movement. Bruno thought it was “really the expression of gorgeousness of a real woman.” “The arms are so expressive” and “your solo was spot on.” Total: 27.5, plus an additional two points for their stand-out performance in their group dance. Combined total: 82.

Kelly Monaco and Valentin Chmerkovskiy had much to ponder along the brick wall this week, particularly after last week’s unremarkable routine left them at the bottom of the pack. They both decided they needed to really step up their tango this week, so they added more hours to rehearsals, and she resolved to stay in her frame no matter what. And their tango, set to Carrie Underwood’s “Good Girl,” was a modern take on “Gone With the Wind.” Kelly was outfitted in a red ballroom gown as Scarlett O’Hara, who slapped Rhett Butler Val, who doesn’t give a damn. Until he kissed her at the end. Carrie Ann said it was a “nice comeback” and an “ambitious routine.” Len thought it was “a little bit hectic on occasion, but you kept it under control.” Bruno told Kelly to watch the top line, but said he was swept away with the “Gone With the Wind” theme, “engulfed by the flames of passion.” Kelly and Val received a 27 for their tango. Combined total: 78.5.

Which still leaves Kelly and Val at the bottom of the leader board. What do you think, ballroom fans? Are these showmantic lovebirds the next to go? Did Kirstie and Maks deserve those two extra bonus points during the country freestyle dance? Should Len be cited for “frippery” with his inconsistent scoring?

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