Lindsay Lohan hosts ‘Chelsea Lately’: ‘I’m happy and healthy’

Lindsay Lohan put herself in the hot seat Monday night as guest host of E! late night show “Chelsea Lately.”

The troubled starlet, 27, who was released from a 90-day stint in rehab earlier last week, took over the show from craggy maven Chelsea Handler and took a few punches at herself, the show’s regular, the tabloids and the paparazzi. She addressed her stay in rehab as “a lovely court-ordered vacation in Malibu.” She added that she saw someone who looked a lot like Handler “move in” to her old room at Cliffside Malibu.

The healthy looking host took the set as a natural redhead and was all sugar and spice. Lilo happily taking jabs at celebrities and public figures who kept the limelight off her affairs in recent weeks, including sexting politician Anthony Weiner, rapper Kanye West, singer Justin Bieber and the royal baby.

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“So I’ve been through a lot lately, and I’ve got a lot of people to thank for that, most notably the celebrities who kept the tabloid industry alive in my absence,” she said during her opening monologue.

“Like Anthony Weiner,” she added. “I want to thank Anthony for being a such a ... with an unlimited texting plan. Kanye West, I want to thank you for acting like a a baby and making a baby. Sidenote: How come when Kanye acts like an idiot he gets a gold record but when I act like an idiot, I get a police record. Still haven’t figured that out. I wanna thank Justin Bieber for being where you shouldn’t, spitting where you shouldn’t and wearing your pants where you shouldn’t,” she added.

“But most of all, I would like to thank the one person who’s captured the worldwide attention of all of the tabloids: the royal baby.”

And then, Handler’s diminutive assistant Chuy Bravo took the stage costumed in a future kind” onesie and a crown to join a pantsless stand-in for Weiner, a faux West with a baby Bjorn and mop-pushing Bieber.

“I’m back, I’m happy and healthy and I’m sorry paparazzi but if you want to take a picture of somebody who’s really ... up then you’ll just have to wait till Chelsea’s back!” she exclaimed.

You can watch a clip from the show here, but be warned, it includes salty language typical of “Chelsea Lately.”

“The Canyons” star then picked on someone else her own size during the show’s comedian panel segment in which they talk about the latest celebrity headlines. Lohan took aim at “One Direction” heartthrob Harry Styles who is on one of five GQ UK covers.

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“‘Harry Styles is on the cover of British GQ, he was questioned by the interviewer about rumors that he’s bisexual with a DJ named Nick,” Lohan read.

“I’ve been there,” she joked.

“Harry answered, ‘We’re just friends. When asked how many people he’s slept with he said, ‘Yes, lower than 50. You’re cornering me, I’ve only ever had sex with two people...’”

To which Lindsay quipped: “He’s never hung out with The Wanted and he’s obviously not counting oral.” She then smiled at the camera and said, “Sorry, Harry!”

The “Mean Girls” star went on to skewer “Twilight” star Kristen Stewart and interviewed Dylan Bruce, star of BBC America’s gritty mystery “Orphan Black.”

Lohan was expected to flub the gig, thanks to rumors that she allegedly displayed bossy behavior while on sets and has been difficult to work with in the past. But that didn’t seem to be the case on “Chelsea Lately.” She reportedly arrived on time, took photos with the crew, and even apologized to the audience when she flubbed a line, according to Perez Hilton.

Lohan will soon return to the interviewees’ seat. In August, she’ll be interviewed by Oprah Winfrey and has been signed for an eight-part documentary series that will air in 2014, Show Tracker reports.

We’re not going to lie, it’s refreshing to see Lilo do well and we’ve been waiting for this “she’s getting her life back on track” story line for years...

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