For sale on Craigslist: UCLA football coach Chip Kelly

Oct. 8, 2019 12:51 PM PT

An unhappy Bruins fan (or a snarky Trojans fan or someone with too much time on their hands) is having some fun on Criagslist at the expense of UCLA and football coach Chip Kelly.

This ad went up on the website Monday:

“We are selling a used Chip Kelly in broken condition. This antique might still have some value as a fun Christmas present for your ailing, desperate, and gullible football program. It comes pre-loaded with 100 snarky quotes like “the wishbone was successful too” and “we’re just trying to have a good Monday.”

“However, after nearly two years, we haven’t gotten the most important parts of it to work. Its previous owners were also dissatisfied with it and we thought it’d need a good home and some TLC. It turns out that it is broken beyond repair, so we are selling AS-IS and for PARTS ONLY. We imagine you can find some workable pieces in here if you are looking for 5-tight-end play designs and are in need of tearing down your roster to its bones.

“While it is not functional, it could make a nice set piece. Putting this on your coffee table for decoration is sure to spark memories of elite offenses and fun playcalls. Do note, though, that although it comes with pre-loaded quotes, its functionality is so broken that it will refuse to directly answer any of your questions and will almost certainly get dangerously close to insulting you if you try.

“We are selling this for $9M obo. We recognize this is a steep price, but memories and status are priceless, even if functionality is shot.

“Please contact Dan Guerrero for more information.”

Hot ticket

Everybody wants to see the new superstar duos on Los Angeles’ NBA teams in action. And if they can see them both at the same time, even better.

Thanks in no small part to the Lakers’ LeBron James and Anthony Davis and the Clippers’ Kawhi Leonard and Paul George, matchups between the two teams rank as the top two most in-demand games for the upcoming NBA season, based on StubHub ticket sales through Tuesday.

The Oct. 22 meeting between the two teams is by far the ticket exchange company’s top-selling game of the new season and of recent memory. According to StubHub, that game is driving more than three times the ticket sales compared with the No. 2-ranked game — Lakers vs. Clippers on Dec. 25 — and is outselling the No. 1 game of 2018 — Houston Rockets at Lakers on Oct. 20 — by 58%.

This year’s season opener at Staples Center, technically a home game for the Clippers, will feature the regular-season debut for that team’s huge offseason additions, Leonard and George, as well as the first time new Laker Davis takes the court with James as teammates.

The Lakers are also the league’s most in-demand team, according to StubHub, with three other games ranked in the top 10 for ticket sales — Oct. 25 vs. Utah (No. 4), Nov. 13 vs. Golden State (No. 6) and Nov. 27 at New Orleans (No. 7).

The Clippers have no other games in the top 10 but jump to No. 2 (up from No. 10 last year) on the list of in-demand teams.

StubHub’s top 10 in-demand NBA teams

1. Lakers

2. Clippers

3. Philadelphia 76ers

4. New York Knicks

5. Brooklyn Nets

6. Golden State Warriors

7. Boston Celtics

8. Toronto Raptors

9. New Orleans Pelicans

10. Miami Heat