Vanessa Bryant: ‘My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone’

As she continues to process her grief, Vanessa Bryant turned to Instagram again Monday to express her pain over the loss of husband Kobe Bryant and her daughter Gianna.

“I’ve been reluctant to put my feelings into words. My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone,” she wrote. “I can’t process both at the same time. It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me. It feels wrong. Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity?! I’m so mad. She had so much life to live.

“Then I realize I need to be strong and be here for my 3 daughters. Mad I’m not with Kobe and Gigi but thankful I’m here with Natalia, Bianka and Capri. I know what I’m feeling is normal. It’s part of the grieving process. I just wanted to share in case there’s anyone out there that’s experienced a loss like this. God I wish they were here and this nightmare would be over. Praying for all of the victims of this horrible tragedy. Please continue to pray for all.”

That caption accompanied a video feature from Slam Magazine about her late husband coaching their daughter Gianna’s team. The video includes shots of Gianna playing basketball, shots of Kobe Bryant coaching the team and a brief interview with Keri Altobelli, one of the nine victims of the helicopter crash that killed Kobe and Gianna Bryant on Jan. 26.

Seven other people were in the helicopter: John and Keri Altobelli along with their 13-year-old daughter, Alyssa; Sarah Chester along with her 13-year-old daughter, Payton; Christina Mauser, who coached Gianna’s team along with Kobe; and Ara Zobayan, the pilot. They were traveling to a basketball tournament at the Mamba Sports Academy, Bryant’s elite gym in Thousand Oaks.

There will be a public memorial at 10 a.m. Feb. 24 at Staples Center.