Courtney Love found the missing Malaysian jetliner, and so can you

On Monday/Tuesday, the Malaysia airliner story officially jumped the shark: Several media outlets headlined a theory by singer Courtney Love as to the missing plane’s whereabouts.

Yes, that would be Courtney Love, lead singer of Hole, not Courtney Love, lead scientist at Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution. (OK, I made the latter person up).

Proving once again that the Internet can make an expert of anyone, Love — who admits that she, like millions around the world, has become obsessed with the jetliner mystery — visited the map search website Tomnod, which is crowdsourcing for clues in the case. There she found, and helpfully posted to Facebook, a photo that she thinks shows the plane and an oil slick.

PHOTOS: Malaysia Airlines plane missing

Though to this observer, who admittedly has old, tired eyes, it shows, well, water.

But before you scoff (and yes, Tomnod has already posted a rebuttal), you should know that Love is digging hard for the truth and has rejected — sort of — some other, uh, less plausible explanations: “I really doubt aliens took it,” she told New York Magazine.

Sorry to disappoint you, alien abduction fans. Hang tough, though. Miley Cyrus hasn’t weighed in yet.

Now, back in the real world, the search area has been put at about 2.24 million square nautical miles. Which is a lot. For scale, it’s much bigger than the search area for Amelia Earhart, who disappeared in 1937 — and no, neither she nor her plane has ever been found.

Meaning that everyone might want to take a deep breath here. After all, the Titanic went down in 1912, and we didn’t find the wreck until 1985. (And yes, it was located by Robert Ballard of the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution. Coincidence? Maybe not.)

Still, I’m not making fun of Love (OK, maybe a little). She’s just caught up in what is, in some ways, the Earhart story of the 21st century. With all the technology we have at our disposal, stuff just doesn’t go missing these days (except for car keys and socks, but those are mysteries that will never be solved).

Plus, we live in the age of conspiracy theories. It’s a game everyone can play: The pilots flew the airliner to a remote island and are holding the passengers for ransom. No, terrorists took it, and are preparing it for another 9/11-style attack somewhere.

Or more likely, it crashed into the sea. Maybe it floated for awhile. Or it crashed in the jungle.

It would be a great TV show, except it already was: “Lost.”

At this point, all we can say for sure is that it’s missing.

And that Courtney Love didn’t find it. I think.

ALSO:

Not your father’s Cold War

What if all the lights go out?

When rulers go bad: A peek inside 5 doomed dictators’ opulent lifestyles [Photos]Follow Paul Whitefield on Twitter @PaulWhitefield1 and Google +