How to Be a Better Parent

This is a list for anyone who is a parent, will be a parent in the near future, or is considering becoming a parent at all.

My parents are wonderful people. They feed my brother and me good meals, they take us on fun vacations and they provide us with clothes and games. But, truthfully, there are a few things that need improvement.

1. Please do not yell my name across the house. When you scream out “Emma!” from the kitchen and I’m in my room, I’m going to yell back, “What?!” But you don’t answer, so I stay in my room. Then you get annoyed that I didn’t come into the kitchen to answer you. So please, instead of yelling my name across the house, just gently knock on the door and ask if I would set the table.

2. I know that my chores, such as feeding the cats and cleaning the litter box, are a responsibility. I do not forget to do these things; I just don’t do them right away. So please don’t stand in my doorway meowing like a ravenous feline if I am two pages away from finishing my book. I will feed them-when I am done with those two pages.

3. I think it is unfair that while you are working in the studio that I am in charge of feeding my little brother! “Dad says make me a sandwich because he’s busy,” Jackson says to me. It’s not that I want you to make him a sandwich; I just think that, at the age of 9, my brother is old enough to put peanut butter on bread.

4. The newspaper is a big concern in our house. It’s accidental if I forget to put the Calendar section back together after reading the comics. But simply tell me what I have done and I will fix it. You do not have to leave the unorganized paper in front of my door, for me to put back together and back on the dining room table, where it belongs.

5. I am sorry if my room is messy, but it’s my room. If I’m the one who spends time in it, and I don’t care if there are clothes on the floor. But please don’t make it your job to clean up my room, because then I can’t find anything. (And when, for once, my room is clean, please don’t stand in my open doorway pointing into my room with an astonished look on your face.)

Mom, dad, I love you both very much, but please take notice of my list. And any other parents out there, I hope it helps you out too.

(And dad, please don’t draw on the faces of my magazines. It annoys me to get a new issue of Seventeen and see that you drew a mustache on Hilary Duff.)

*****

About Emma Niles

Here’s how 13-year-old Emma Niles of Culver City spent her summer vacation:

Finished the final Harry Potter installment in less than two days, loved the movies “Ratatouille” and “The Bourne Ultimatum,” went boogie boarding in Manhattan Beach, took an acting class, hung out with her friend Kira, and won The Los Angeles Times Summer Essay Contest.

Not bad.

“That’s really cool!” she shrieked when informed that she had won a hat, a shirt, lunch and a tour of the Los Angeles Times, along with having her entire essay posted on the website.

Emma, who will be a freshman this year at Culver City High School, said she had two things in mind when she wrote a list of tips on how her parents could pick up their game a bit.

“I wanted to make it funny, but I didn’t want to be mean to them.”

She succeeded on both counts, and said she wants to be a novelist, a playwright or screenwriter when she grows up. When she was younger, her dream job was to study sharks, but a love of reading put her on a different track for now.

Emma’s 9-year-old brother, Jackson, “is pretty cool.” Her mother, Jane, works at the Getty in technical training and documentation, and her father, Ken, is a creative director and graphic designer.