ABC dishes juicy details about upcoming season of ‘The Bachelor’

As 2016 comes to a close, the American people can rest easy knowing their suffering is nearly over: “The Bachelor” is about to return.

ABC announced Monday that the landmark dating reality show would be returning for its 21st season on Jan. 2 with 30 beautiful, accomplished women competing for the love of one beautiful, probably employed man.

Nick Viall, whose profession may or may not be “man who no one loves,” will return for his fourth stint as part of “The Bachelor” franchise, having been rejected twice previously on “The Bachelorette” and once on “Bachelor in Paradise.”

Along with the premiere date, ABC announced lots of details about the upcoming season, which, stripped of the necessary context, make the show sound a little like the worst “Price Is Right” showcase ever.

According to the network, several women will show up to meet Viall and utilize stunts to gain his attention, including too many women wearing red in a ploy to stand out.

The first group date of the season will feature the women trying bridal themes for a wedding photo shoot because nothing says romance like a dozen women play-acting at marrying the same man.

Other highlights of the season include the Backstreet Boys, various Olympians, several musical serenades by up-and-coming music acts most people have never heard of and a trip to Waukesha, Wis.

If a trip to a Milwaukee suburb isn’t enough to win the heart of a woman for a lifetime, then what is?

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