Jon Stewart tells Robert Pattinson, ‘Kick her to the curb’

Breaking up is hard to do – especially on national television.

“Twilight” star and America’s most popular cuckold Robert Pattinson paid a visit to “The Daily Show” on Monday night, marking his first television appearance since the world learned his longtime girlfriend and costar Kristen Stewart had cheated on him with her “Snow White and the Huntsman” director, Rupert Sanders.

It was probably a wise decision for Pattinson to begin his publicity tour on “The Daily Show,” where Jon Stewart chose to gently mock the situation rather than pry for dirt. “What have you been up to?” the host asked facetiously just as Pattinson took to the stage.

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Then he took out two pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and encouraged Pattinson to open up: “We’re just a couple of gals talking.”

Poor RPatz. He was visibly uncomfortable with the subject and assiduously avoided saying anything about it directly, but nevertheless handled the situation like a pro. Like a true Englishman, he defaulted to self-deprecating comments, joking that “my biggest problem in my life is I’m cheap and I didn’t hire a publicist.”

“Listen, the last time I had a bad breakup, Ben and Jerry got me through some of the tougher times, so I thought you and I could bond over this,” Stewart said. Affecting the voice of a sassy woman, he continued. “Boy, you are better off, kick her to the curb.” Stewart’s romantic advice elicited enthusiastic whoops of applause from the audience, and laughter from Pattinson.

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But Stewart ended on a more sincere note: “When you are young and you break up, it is powerful and it feels the world is ending. This is the first time I have seen the world actually act that way. Here is my wish for you: that you get to handle your business in private.”

Fat chance.

ALSO:

Angry Will Ferrell calls Kirsten Stewart a “trampire”

The aftermath of Kristen Stewart’s cheating scandal

Kristen Stewart lands a new gig; Robert Pattinson still missing?

Follow Meredith Blake on Twitter @MeredithBlake

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