Miley Cyrus at the VMAs: The full-frontal-finger follow-up

Is there anything left to say about Miley Cyrus at the VMAs? Besides, y’know, “Eeew,” “Will someone please get that song out of my head” and “Where do I get one of those foam fingers for Halloween”? Probably not, but we’re not letting that stop us.

Celebrity reaction: Not much, unless you count Nick Cannon declaring, “Remind me to never let my kids into showbiz... Thanks,” and Brooke Shields exclaiming on the “Today” show Monday that “I was Hannah Montana’s mother. I don’t approve. Where did I go wrong?” Oh yeah, she also described the performance as “a bit desperate.”

Media reaction: A mixture of “disgust and sadness,” according to Show Tracker, including MSNBC’s Mika Brzezinski saying, “That young lady, who is 20, is obviously deeply troubled, deeply disturbed.”

PHOTOS: MTV Video Music Awards | Show Highlights

Parental reaction: “Thanking God for so many blessings tonight. Continue to pray for world peace,” tweeted Billy Ray Cyrus. “More love ...less hate.” Dunno ‘bout you, Billy Ray, but there wasn’t room for a lot more “love” on that stage.

Most predictable statistic: At 4.5 million mentions, Miley’s was the most tweeted-about performance during the East Coast airing of the show, clocking 306,100 tweets per minute while the spectacle was in progress. That tops the number of tweets per minute about the Super Bowl blackout while it was happening.

Most intellectual-sounding headline: That would go to the Washington Post, which offered its take on “Miley Cyrus and the issues of slut-shaming and racial condescension.”

Most understanding spouse: Paula Patton, a.k.a. Mrs. Robin Thicke, who’d apparently seen the rehearsals and wasn’t fazed, according to TMZ, by Miley’s finger-fondling, crotch-twerking and neck-nuzzling moves.

Best post-performance Photoshop: The one in which Beetlejuice’s head is pasted onto Robin Thicke’s stripes-clad body while Miley’s bent over in front of him, butt right in his crotch.

Best performance reaction shot that turned out to be a complete lie: The reaction of the Will Smith family, which, Gossip Cop notes, was actually the clan’s reaction to Lady Gaga’s performance. This is a situation in which we sincerely wish we could ignore reality.

Best reason to avoid flesh-colored latex hot pants, as a rule: Click at your own risk, but it’s this picture of Miley’s butt. More accurately, Miley’s butt gone wrong.

Most plaintive tweet of the evening: “ALAN THICKE AND BILLY RAY, COME GET YOUR CHILDREN.”

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