Cold, Hard Angel Truth Is Hardly Child’s Play

My regret, of course, is that I wasn’t there for her.

At moments such as this, and at such an impressionable age, a G.P. should be there with the granddaughter explaining how the game of baseball should be played.

For all we know that’s what was wrong with Kelvim Escobar on Sunday night, tagging the White Sox runner with the hand without the ball, something he probably should have been told was bad, bad, bad -- years ago.

I called home, hoping that maybe she had already switched over to “Desperate Housewives” and missed the blunder, but I was too late. She was still watching Game 5 of the American League championship series on Fox -- and it might be years before we know the extent of damage from listening to Tim McCarver for nine innings.

She loves her TV. It started a few weeks ago when we propped her up on the couch for an Angel game, and she just smiled and smiled. She saw the Rally Monkey bouncing up and down, and I knew just what she was thinking: “Da, da.”

Obviously her favorite color is red, and I don’t know why, but blue makes her cry. We’ve talked about that, and I’ve just told her to Think Red and the Big Angel in the sky will take care of her.

But I worry about what has happened the last few days, leaving her alone while I’ve been at the ballpark. She probably still likes the Angels because now they’re red-faced too, but she probably also thinks every umpire gets it wrong all the time and that every ex-Dodger eventually turns out to be the most valuable player.

I’ve got no problem with her thinking every catcher is as slow as molasses or that she could strike out Steve Finley, but I’d probably put my foot down at the suggestion of dropping the “N” in Figgins’ first name and making it a “K” just because of the way he played in this series.

I do think it’s funny, though, that the first words I ever heard her say were: “Troy Glaus.” At least they weren’t “Bill Stoneman.”

Between you and me, I’m not worried about the effect that Garret Anderson might have on her, because right now it seems as if she’s always wide awake.

But let me tell you, it’s already in her genes, her mother playing basketball when she was younger and still in shape. She was known for being a big-time gunner -- shooting sometimes as soon as the locker room door opened. So watching Vladimir Guerrero swing at everything thrown his way, and knowing she’ll soon be sitting in front of the TV watching Kobe Bryant, I just know she’s going to grow up insisting on doing it her own way no matter what the results -- just like her mother, which explains why she married the first Grocery Store Bagger that came along.

I didn’t get the chance to bring her to the Angel clubhouse, which is a shame, because I’d have liked her to meet someone really nice such as Paul Byrd. I know how much she likes old people, although sometimes they make no sense.

Byrd was saying after the game, “That’s not the same team we swept in September,” and you try and explain that to a 3-month-old.

She would’ve enjoyed meeting Scot Shields and Brendan Donnelly too, but her mom and dad were worried she might pick up some pine tar in there even though I told them those guys no longer use it. Just look at the way they were pitching the last couple of months.

I would have also liked for her to have met Jarrod Washburn before he leaves, and as much as she loves “Bozo,” she would’ve been all smiles meeting Josh Paul.

I just wish I had been there in front of the TV, though, because I’d imagine right now her father is telling her it was still a great year for the Angels and winning isn’t everything -- it’s how you play the game.

I hate it when fathers lie to their kids.

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MANAGER MIKE SCIOSCIA pulled the plug on Finley in the final game.

“At least it’s another $100” for Mattel Children’s Hospital at UCLA, said Finley, who has been donating $100 to the pediatric cancer ward for every game he’s remained on the bench the last two months -- and another $100 for every hit when playing.

In the end, he was at his best not playing -- raising $2,700 for the hospital while out of the lineup and another $2,200 when swinging the bat.

Scioscia also offered to donate to the hospital -- $200 for every hit in the playoffs, and with me also charging him $200 for ordering Finley to squeeze bunt a run home, he will be giving the kids $2,700.

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FORMER DODGER manager Tom Lasorda has thrown his support behind former Angel manager Terry Collins, which is a pretty good clue Collins is the leader right now to replace Jim Tracy.

But the Dodgers announced they’re going to go beyond their stellar, undistinguished, who-cares list of no-names already identified as managerial candidates and will also interview Terry Pendleton and some unnamed ex-Dodgers.

Some people guessed Orel Hershiser and Kirk Gibson right away.

But I was thinking more along the lines of F.P. Santangelo or Kevin Brown. I think it would be a great way to break in the team’s new PR director, who was used to setting up interviews for Tipper Gore. Let’s see her put Brown and the media together every day.

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FORMER UCLA standout Reggie Miller was in the Angel crowd along with former Stanford standout John Elway.

All the USC standouts are probably still partying.

T.J. Simers can be reached at [email protected]. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.