Soccer comedy ‘Kicking’ fumbles
A threadbare comedy glomming onto the ample talent of its star, Will Ferrell, “Kicking & Screaming” is the kind of movie that makes you wonder why anyone would even bother making it in the first place. Its wispy story of a thirtysomething man and his desperate desire to earn his father’s love and respect ambles over such familiar terrain as if to simulate a very long commercial for either Father’s Day cards or Viagra.
Ferrell stars as Phil Weston, a sensitive, Prius-driving dad who somehow manages to provide his wife, Barbara (Kate Walsh), and son Sam (Dylan McLaughlin) with the good life in a leafy, upscale suburb via his vitamin store -- Phil’s Pills -- while avoiding being run over and pushed around by Hummer-driving A-types.
Phil is forever cowed that he never lived up athletically to the expectations of his hyper-competitive father, Buck (Robert Duvall), a local sporting goods king and youth soccer coach nonpareil.
Buck unwittingly sets in motion Phil’s redemption and his own comeuppance when he “trades” his grandson Sam from the dominating Gladiators to the lowly Tigers.
The Tigers’ coach doesn’t show up for the team’s second game and Phil steps in, totally unprepared for the job. Between his trash-talking father and unresponsive team, Phil finds himself in a deep hole but has a brainstorm when he recruits Buck’s neighbor and archnemesis, former Chicago Bears coach and football Hall of Famer Mike Ditka, to be his assistant coach.
The tough-as-nails Ditka provides some momentary comic relief, but his NFL-tested discipline provides little in the way of results for the Tigers until he brings in a couple of ringers, the nephews of his Italian butcher, Massimo (Alessandro Ruggiero), and Gian Piero (Francesco Lioti).
Ditka also has a noticeable effect on Phil, turning him on to the transformative power of coffee -- Ferrell’s caffeinated escapades are among the movie’s few high points -- and into a win-at-all costs, chair-tossing, little league version of Woody Hayes (complete with the on-field assault of a player).
Ferrell has done the conflicted man-child thing to far greater effect in “Elf” or even “Old School” and you won’t find anything here that you haven’t seen in some of his less inspired “Saturday Night Live” sketches. In “Kicking,” Ferrell is merely riffing and bebopping as punctuation to the backhanded tribute to the “joys” of youth sports.
Directed by Jesse Dylan as a series of pratfall-ridden music videos featuring overused, over-parodied sports anthems like Vangelis’ theme from “Chariots of Fire,” Queen’s “We Are the Champions” and Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger,” the film has the pacing of a balky Studebaker.
Even newer songs such as the Black Eyed Peas’ “Let’s Get It Started” and the Vines’ “Ride” are so ubiquitous on NBA broadcasts and iPod commercials, respectively, that they feel like retreads here.
The movie tries to sell a winning-isn’t-everything message, but no one’s buying it.
When Phil comes down from the java high and realizes he’s been a monumental jerk, he does so acknowledging that to the victors go the spoils. He simply learns to do it with a little dignity.
*
‘Kicking & Screaming’
MPAA rating: PG for thematic elements, language and some crude humor
Times guidelines: Some worm-eating and below-the-belt physical humor
A Universal Pictures release. Director Jesse Dylan. Producer Jimmy Miller. Executive producers Charles Roven, Judd Apatow, Daniel Lupi. Screenplay by Leo Benvenuti & Steve Rudnick. Director of photography Lloyd Ahern. Editor Stuart Pappe, Peter Teschner. Running time: 1 hour, 34 minutes.
In general release.
