But What About the Mutts?

Everyone knows that, over time, cars start to resemble their drivers, while married couples together for years start to resemble their house. Or something like that. After a while, dogs develop an eerie similarity to their owners, only without the plaid shorts and rubber flip-flops.

But is it possible that the stereotypical personalities of American cities help shape the popularity of various dog breeds in those places?

Recently, the American Kennel Club, which makes time to track such things each year, reported 2003’s most popular registered dog breeds. (Here’s another of those top 10 lists.) Retrievers -- Labradors, topping the list since 1990, and goldens -- came in No. 1 and 2. They’re followed by bounding beagles, who jumped German shepherds into third place, ahead of dachshunds in fifth, Yorkshire terriers, boxers, poodles, Shih Tzus and, last and least, Chihuahuas.

That’s the national canine picture. But if anyone digs into the doggy data with his front paws, the local registration stats reveal a somewhat different picture.

In Los Angeles, for instance, the regal shepherd is No. 2, followed by Yorkshires, poodles, goldens and then, maybe because living space is tight, comes a bunch of smaller critters -- Maltese, dachshunds, Pomeranians, Chihuahuas and, oops, bulldogs. Those canines with the smashed faces are zero in Seattle, Atlanta, Dallas and Houston but big in Washington, Chicago and, notably, San Francisco, where bulldogs are No. 6 and closing on those bite-size Yorkies.

L.A. doesn’t even rank baying beagles in the top 10. And its love of Pomeranians at No. 8 is unique among cities, save San Francisco (No. 10). When you get to those big, burly Midwestern cities, Detroit like everyone likes Labradors best, followed, inexplicably, by poodles (must be suburban), but then by rugged Rottweilers, German shepherds and boxers, with Shih Tzus, Chihuahuas and Yorkies trying to keep up on little legs.

Washington has enough howling without beagles. The Capital puts poodles second after Labs, boxers fourth and bulldogs 10th.

The kennel club report didn’t attach political import to breeds’ popularity -- French poodles down, British dogs up. But some subversive might insinuate sinister influences on American culture by a popular dog breed named Labrador. True, they’re friendly (the dogs, not the cities) and they’re very patient with Americans. Labs seem to like the same things as Americans -- running, swimming, children, fries with gravy. They look, act and bark familiar. Wait. Labrador is Canadian. That explains all.