Instead of a Hug, Sterling Really Needs Angel Magic

So I see Mickey Mouse in the car leading the Angels’ victory parade Tuesday, and right away I’m feeling better about Donald and the Clippers’ chances for success this season.

But then I went to the team’s first game Wednesday night and ran into Sterling, who immediately made like Angels’ broadcaster Rex Hudler, and tried to hug me.

Of course, I just stood there with my arms nailed to my sides, displaying no emotion whatsoever -- thankful now that so many girls had done the same to me early in life preparing me to handle this moment.

“Hug me, come on, hug me, put your arms around me,” Sterling said, and I remember begging like that, too, and getting nowhere.

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NOW FOR hugging’s sake, I hope someone treats Hudler to a Clipper game this season and introduces him to Sterling because there’s one clinch for the record books. I’m sorry if I hurt Sterling’s feelings when I kept yelling into his ear, “Leave me alone,” in the same tone of voice I remember hearing from so many girls years ago. But at least I didn’t call him “a loser.”

Sterling finally got the hint, introduced me to his wife, and I noted she put her hand out to shake mine because she’s obviously all hugged out living with this guy.

“So what’s your prediction this year?” I asked Sterling, and he said, “Just hopeful.” I didn’t think it was that tough of a question, so I tried again. “Do you think the team has a chance of making the playoffs?” and he blew me a kiss.

I wish I was having as a good a week with the wife as I’ve been having with Hudler and Sterling, but then Hudler and Sterling have reasons to be excited. The Angels have just completed the impossible dream, and now it’s the Clippers, who have been just as enjoyable to watch the last two years as the Angels have been the last two months, trying to stretch everyone’s imagination.

“Hey, New Jersey proved it last year going from 26 wins a year earlier to 52 and making the NBA Finals,” Clipper Coach Alvin Gentry said. “It’s very similar to what the Angels did, only the Nets ran into Shaq and they couldn’t very well intentionally walk him.”

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THE CLIPPERS’ motto this year is “Pure Basketball,” which is discouraging because NBA basketball these days isn’t very scintillating, and downright boring if you caught the Lakers’ opener against the Spurs.

A year ago the Clippers put on the best show in town, and while they didn’t always win, no one seemed to mind -- selling out the last 16 games.

But that’s how far the Clippers think they have come, playing the kind of basketball one team official described as a “hard-working, no pretense, unselfish style of play,” designed to take the team to the next level -- the playoffs.

“If we’re healthy and play to our potential, we’re a playoff team,” Gentry said, and with the Lakers standing 0-2 I guess it would be nice to have one team in town displaying postseason potential.

The problem is the Clippers are still owned by Donald, which until recently seemed like a Magic Mountain too high to climb. But the cast members who worked in Angel red for Michael Eisner this season proved anything is possible no matter how Goofy the guy in control seems most of the time.

The Angels were 6-14 to start, so following the leader, of course, the Clippers are 0-1 to start. Nothing to worry about.

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CHINESE ROOKIE Yao Ming, who is 7 feet 5, made his debut for Houston and scored no points in 13 minutes of play. Yao-wza. How do you like his chances against Shaq?

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THE FALL issue of LA Youth is out -- a special issue on sports, and begins with a wonderful story by Sharine Xuan from South Pasadena High on Nastja Rebrin, a 16-year-old athlete with one arm. Xuan obviously has the talent to replace sports columnist Bill Plaschke down the road. Writers Gary Gray (Sunland Christian Academy) and Joo Yoon (Troy High) already appear ready to take over Page 2 duties, and I intend to advise school officials they have two troublemakers on their hands. Anyone interested in obtaining a copy of LA Youth can e-mail [email protected].

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I WONDER if Martha Burk knows what she’s doing. So far all she has accomplished is making the Masters the only commercial-free broadcast of a sporting event on network TV. I have no idea now when I’m going to be able to talk to the wife.

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IT’S JUST speculation on my part right now. But now that Commissioner Paul Tagliabue is one of 74 names under consideration for the Hall of Fame, I wonder if he makes it in January, and then convinces NFL owners in March to place a Super Bowl in New York to honor those killed on Sept. 11, if he’ll follow Pete Rozelle’s lead, surprise everyone and announce his retirement.

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HOUSTON IS a three-point pick to defeat Cincinnati on Sunday, although it’s an expansion franchise and Bengal Coach Dick LeBeau has predicted a victory.

I agree with LeBeau, however, and make the Bengals the lock of the year to defeat the Texans straight-up, and knowing sports editor Bill Dwyre is going to be in Las Vegas over the weekend with company money in his pocket, I have no doubt the Tribune Co. is going to appreciate such expertise and the chance to make extra money when Dwyre returns with the company’s winnings.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Len Gilman:

“If your story today about Phil Jackson was tongue in cheek then it just wasn’t funny. If it was serious then you’re a MORON. Have a nice day. No offense intended.”

If your final comments were meant to be tongue in cheek, they weren’t funny. If you’re being serious, well ...

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T.J. Simers can be reached at [email protected].