Among Honorary Officials in Hollywood, Is Mudslinging Also Honorary?

Ihate all the last-minute mudslinging in political campaigns. And there’s a lot of it going on in Hollywood, where secession proponent Douglas Carlton has accused honorary mayor Johnny Grant of living in Toluca Lake (a shocking thing to say about anyone) instead of Tinseltown.

In a press release, Carlton declared himself the new honorary mayor, explaining he had unilaterally impeached Grant, who is opposed to cityhood for Hollywood.

The odd thing -- well, one of the odd things -- about Carlton’s announcement is that he represents a preservation group called Keep Old Los Angeles.

An L.A. that lost Hollywood would, of course, be a New Los Angeles. Johnny went Hollywood a long time ago: As for Grant, he actually lives in the penthouse suite of the Roosevelt Hotel on good old Hollywood Boulevard.

And there’s no requirement for the honorary mayor to live in Hollywood except on an honorary basis. Grant, however, is so visible in the community that “people think he is the real mayor,” said Leron Gubler, the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce boss.

“They see him walking down the street and they’ll come up to him and complain about things like potholes. And Johnny will tell them who they have to get ahold of. I’m sure if Mr. Carlton would like to take care of those problems, Johnny would make him a Special Ambassador of Potholes.”

It’s not that kind of body shop: Michael Kersey of Corona came upon an auto garage with a wraparound banner that could be misinterpreted (see photo).

Taxpayer dollars at work: John Greenwood of Beverly Hills, meanwhile, noticed a no-selling sign that was being used by a cheeky offramp entrepreneur to prop up his goods (see photo).

A welcome relief for computer users: Are you an e-mail recipient being driven crazy by spam? Ted Creveling of Valinda found an inn that will give you relief (see accompanying).

Sorry, ladies: An offer that would no doubt be snapped up by countless wives was sent my way by John Brossart of Cerritos (see accompanying). But he added that it was placed in 1982 and he just came across it, so it’s only of historical value now.

Mystery solved: In Wednesday’s column, I said I was mystified by a South African billboard that displayed a “Rainbow” logo and a caption that said, “No hooting please. Chickens resting.”

Jonathan Fine of Tustin, who grew up in that country, writes: “In South Africa, a car’s horn is called a ‘hooter.’ Rainbow is a massive chicken producer, like Foster Farms, and the billboard implies that their chickens need some peace.”

Treating a disobedient car, no doubt: The police log of the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise reported that “a man was seen hitting the dashboard of his car with a wooden baton.” I hope he didn’t wake up any chickens.

MiscelLAny: Fans of Bill Keene, KNX radio’s late traffic/weather reporter, will recall this was the day he would give the temperatures in such scary locales as Maliboo, Hacienda Frights, Ghosta Mesa, Bell Goblins, Woodland Chills, Aghoula, Spookamonga, Santa Scarita, West Munster and, of course, multi-governed Hollyweird. Happy Halloween.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at [email protected].