He Looks High and Low for Noise-Buster Garrett

A USC spokesman said Athletic Director Mike Garrett might be at Edison Field for Game 2 of the World Series, and when a Stealth bomber flew overhead at the conclusion of the national anthem, I wondered if it was at Garrett’s suggestion.

As you know, Garrett doesn’t like noise at sporting events, and while he came to the wrong place, recently he was the guy who led a successful move to ban Angel-like noise sticks from all Pacific 10 Conference stadiums.

Now at first I found this comical, because there was a time when Garrett would carry on like no other fan at a football game, and as a result the Pac-10 established a “Garrett rule” banning him and all other ADs from the press box -- insisting they sit somewhere else ... I presume in sound-proof Garrett boxes.

But then I took a walk around Edison Field on Sunday night, and I’m not sure you will find a group of fans having a better time or making more noise. And I wonder what he thought.

Now maybe these people were just thrilled because they weren’t home and suffering through a Fox telecast, but I’m telling you, it’s hard to fall asleep when the fans begin the rhythmic pounding of the noise sticks, and I could use a pair to get me through one of Coach Pete Carroll’s news conferences.

“My first thought when I read that USC banned them was the rich boosters didn’t want all that noise around them, and Garrett was just catering to the snooty older folks who go to the games,” said Skip Allen, USC class of ’71.

And that’s the crazy thing about this Series, because traditionally the fans are more USC laid-back than the regular-season baseball crowd, since it’s the corporate set that gets most of the tickets. But rich or not, these people were carrying on as if it was the greatest night of their lives -- Tim Salmon confirming that nearly four hours into the screaming night -- and the charged atmosphere had to play a role in giving the rest of the country a wonderful night of entertainment.

So early on I went looking for Garrett -- figuring the ear-plugged grouch would stand out in a crowd of two-week-old Angel fans -- with the intention of talking some sense into him. The only guy who stood out, however, was KCAL’s Alan Massengale dressed all in black, and I had no idea he was such a Giants’ fan, but then I guess you’d have to watch KCAL to know that.

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GIVEN THE noise in the stadium, I checked the parking lot in case Garrett was sitting in his car with windows rolled up and the radio on. (I think it would be kind of funny to watch Garrett sitting in a glass-encased room listening to Rex Hudler broadcast an Angel game, but that’s just me.) I had no idea what Garrett’s BMW or Mercedes looked like, so I checked every vehicle with a Trojan license plate in the lot.

“I know you,” said Matt Holder, USC class of ’93. “We got some rancid hot dogs here you might like.” I could just picture Holder & Co. packing for the trip to Edison Field -- now don’t forget the rancid hot dogs in case we run into the Page 2 columnist from The Times.

Dennis Anderson, still a nice guy, because it was his dad and daughter who graduated from USC and not himself, said, “Look how much fun people are having here. Isn’t it USC’s job to entertain the fans? Isn’t that why they play the game?”

I told Anderson not to accept a hot dog from anyone who graduated from USC in ‘93, and then came across Kent Ochiai, class of ’83 with advanced degrees from USC in ’87 and ’89. He seemed normal, despite spending all that time there.

“This is so much fun -- it’s the best thing to happen locally in some time, and instead of taking away thunder sticks, USC should rent some real fans,” he said.

I wanted to hear what Garrett had to say, of course, because I’m not one to just pounce on the guy for always being clueless. So I called Garrett’s home during the first inning -- just in case I received a bad tip from USC -- and got him.

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I COULD not hear the noise sticks in the background, so I wasn’t surprised that Garrett’s TV was muted. “I was asleep; you woke me up,” he said.

“That would explain why you’re talking to me,” I said.

“Yes, it would,” he said, and I know how candid Garrett can be, but I think I also detected a sense of humor.

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GARRETT SAID it was Carroll’s idea to put a stop to artificial noisemakers, I guess Carroll is aware people fall asleep at his news conferences.

“It’s all about sportsmanship,” Garrett said. “A batter has to only look at a pitcher and try to hit the ball. It’s a communication thing in football, and the visiting team’s quarterback can’t hear the plays that are being called.”

If a batter can hit a 97-mph pitch with 45,000 people banging noise sticks together, why can’t a quarterback take hand signals from the sideline under the same circumstances? If a sportswriter can write a Page 2 column with 45,000 people banging noise sticks together, he probably deserves a raise.

“You’re entitled to your opinion,” Garrett said, and I had no idea the guy was so funny.

“Thanks for the call,” I think he said, and I can’t be sure because the crowd just wouldn’t shut up and I was at the game and was having trouble hearing him.

I’ll ask him at the next USC game -- when it’s more quiet and we can talk.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Jason K.:

“I know you were probably watching the World Series, but did you notice what happened in the Chargers-Raiders game?

Yes, the Chargers won the rights to L.A.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at [email protected]