Tice Has One Job That Seems Secure

Minnesota is 0-4 in the NFL this season, but Viking Coach Mike Tice is 5-4. That’s because he also coaches his son’s eighth-grade team.

“We’re 5-0, so that’s good,” Tice told the Associated Press. “Maybe that’s the only level I can win at.”

Aw, don’t be so hard on yourself.

Trivia time: Who holds the NFL single-season record for touchdowns by a rookie?

Ban ‘em: David Letterman on his “Top Ten New York Met Promises for Next Season.” A sampling:

* “2-for-1 tickets for shirtless father and son lunatics.”

* “We’re opening a second men’s room.”

Mean and crude: Preparing for the Green Bay Packer-Chicago Bear game on “Monday Night Football,” radio station WMVP in Chicago staged a satirical “Miss Wisconsin” contest for its listeners.

The station called on Packer fans to bring women to the studios.

Not pretty women, but large-boned women the station could make fun of. Host Dan McNeil called it “Dog Day Friday” and station staffers took pictures of the less-attractive hopefuls to post for Internet voting on the WMVP Web site.

Go for it: Thomas Boswell in the Washington Post:

“If the Twins can somehow reach the Series, despite ranking 27th among 30 teams in payroll, it’s going to be one of the game’s legends.

“After all, Minnesota has no one who hit over .300 or had 30 homers or 100 RBIs. No pitcher won more than 15 games or struck out even 140 batters.”

Outside shot: Mark O’Meara would seem to be a logical choice as a future Ryder Cup captain for the United States, but the PGA of America might not forgive him for being among the first to raise the compensation issue for Americans who compete in the event.

The PGA made about $23 million from the 1999 Ryder Cup. To avoid a player revolt, the PGA agreed to let players give $200,000 to the charity of their choice.

“He’s the one that really started it,” Curtis Strange, the captain of this year’s squad, told the Associated Press.

“To be quite frank with you, I would be shocked if he ever got to be the captain.”

Meddling man: Peter Vecsey of the New York Post says it’s inconceivable that Dallas Maverick owner Mark Cuban “didn’t question the officiating at his wedding.”

Don’t listen: From comedy writer Earl Hochman: “It turns out that those two sports psychologists Jacksonville Jaguar Coach Tom Coughlin hired to counsel his players aren’t licensed, and about as qualified to offer players psychological advice as Randy Moss.”

Looking back: On this day in 1988, the Dodgers defeated the Mets, 5-4, in 12 innings to even their National League championship series at two games each.

Mike Scioscia hit a game-tying two-run homer in the ninth and Kirk Gibson won it with a solo shot in the 12th, knotting the series at two games each.

Trivia answer: Gale Sayers of the Chicago Bears, 22, in 1965.

And finally: Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times: “Now that hockey fans can go online to buy game-worn NHL jerseys, just one question: Does that $12,500 for a Mark Messier sweater include tax, handling fee and bloodstains?”