HOT CORNER

A consumer’s guide to the best and worst of sports media and merchandise. Ground rules: If it can be read, heard, observed, viewed, dialed or downloaded, it’s in play here. One exception: No products will be endorsed.

What: Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders Lingerie Calendar 2002-2003

Price: $12.99 for 16 months.

When the calendar reached The Times, it seemed logical that a former Keystone State resident should review the merchandise. Been a season-ticket holder. Have seen countless Eagle cheerleaders. Didn’t know about the peephole in the wall of the Veterans Stadium locker room until after moving west, so integrity is intact.

The calendar begins in September 2002 and continues through December 2003, giving the owner plenty of time to study the contents before the Eagle coaching and cheerleading staffs find new bodies.

Some highlights ... Sept. 2002: Holds a pillow just as a coach would tell a halfback to hold a football. Won’t fumble. Oct. 2002: No Heisman Trophy pose, but gives new meaning to armchair quarterback. Nov. 2002: Looks like a candidate to lead Eagle pregame stretching routine. Jan. 2003: This probably isn’t how Donovan McNabb absorbs the playbook. Feb. 2003: Dreaded bed check. Fortunately, no Eagles present. March 2003: Those spikes must be for thick, natural turf. June 2003: Like a star wide receiver, tried to cover her but couldn’t be done. July 2003: I believe this is a 15-yard penalty this season. No removing equipment above the waist. August 2003: In defensive football terms, Cover 2. Oct. 2003: Weather conditions starting to get cold. Dec. 2003: The whole Christmas package.

Sadly, after searching vigorously, reviewing each page and picture over and over and over again, something is missing--the Eagles’ schedule. Guess the calendar just will have to serve as a reminder of the heart-warming sights of home.