Rose Bowl Picture Remains Thorny Thanks to BCS

Note to readers: Taking our lead from four Cal State Sacramento players, recently reprimanded for greasing their uniforms, we have used a nonstick cooking spray on this column to provide slicker transitions in explaining complicated bowl championship series questions.

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Iowa claimed the coveted Floyd of Rosedale trophy for its weekend victory over Minnesota but would have much preferred receiving roses from any guy named Floyd.

Because of a technical glitch, otherwise known as the BCS, Rose Bowl officials might have to keep their freshly cut stems in the cooler until Dec. 8.

It’s as if you want to marry this girl, and you know she’ll say yes, but you can’t pop the question until her old man does a complete background check.

The Rose Bowl wants to put petals to metal and offer Iowa an invitation to its Jan. 1 game. Yet, until further notice, the Hawkeyes remain a tantalizing tease.

Only the BCS could turn a simple scenario into a conundrum.

Fact: The Big Ten champion is going to be Iowa or Ohio State and Iowa.

Fact: The Big Ten champion is contracted to play in the Rose Bowl unless its winner is No. 1 or No. 2.

Fact: No one can say for certain either school will be in Pasadena.

Ohio State, in fact, probably is not Rose Bowl-bound. If the Buckeyes beat Michigan next week, they’ll be headed for the BCS national title game in the Jan. 3 Fiesta Bowl.

If Ohio State loses to Michigan, then Iowa clinches the Rose Bowl berth as the Big Ten’s automatic champion.

However, there is this one scenario ... isn’t there always?

Should the Rose Bowl lose Pacific 10 Conference champion Washington State to the Fiesta Bowl and the Pac-10’s runner-up did not finish ranked in the BCS top 12, the Rose Bowl could pair Ohio State as an at-large team against Iowa in a de facto Big Ten championship game.

(Does anybody else’s head hurt?)

Chances are that Iowa is headed west, either as the Big Ten champion or an at-large pick, but the Rose Bowl can’t make it official because of an upcoming Thursday night game on ESPN.

What, you ask, does Louisville have to do with this?

Nothing, actually.

While Louisville has seemingly appeared on every Thursday night game this year, we’re talking about this Thursday’s game between Miami and Pittsburgh.

Get a pad and paper if you think you need to write this down.

Pittsburgh and Miami are tied for the Big East lead. If Pittsburgh upsets Miami and wins the Big East title, Miami at 11-1 could earn an automatic at-large berth if it finishes fourth or higher in the BCS standings.

If Notre Dame finishes No. 6 or better, it would claim the other automatic at-large spot and Iowa gets locked out.

While Texas’ second defeat made Iowa’s Rose Bowl road easier, the Hawkeyes can get sandwiched if the final BCS standings end in the following order:

1. Ohio State. 2. Washington State. 3. Oklahoma. 4. Miami. 5. Iowa. 6. Notre Dame.

Of course, should Iowa climb to No. 4, it would earn an automatic BCS bid and play in the Rose Bowl.

Bottom line, Iowa’s Rose Bowl chances are looking pretty strong.

If the top teams win out, the BCS bowl picture probably would go as follows:

Fiesta: Miami-Ohio State; Rose: Washington State-Iowa; Sugar: Georgia-Florida State; Orange: Notre Dame-Oklahoma.

That said, there are some strange possibilities still out there, especially in the Rose.

In one scenario, the Nov. 30 game between USC and Notre Dame could be a winner-take-all spot for the Rose Bowl.

Here’s how that happens: If Ohio State and Washington State end up playing for the national title in the Fiesta Bowl, the Rose would get both at-large selections. It would take Iowa with one choice, while the other slot could come down to an at-large choice between the USC-Notre Dame winner.

Another Rose Bowl possibility: Miami vs. Notre Dame?

If it’s Ohio State and Washington State in the Fiesta, and Miami and Notre Dame win automatic at-large berths, this is the game the Rose Bowl would probably have to make.

Weekend Wrap

Plot line: Coach of school in Southwest pushes team to the brink with his brutal treatment of players, who nearly revolt but end up sticking it out to record coming-of-age memories and victories.

This is the promo for ESPN’s upcoming movie, “The Junction Boys” and possibly its sequel, “Mackovic’s Boys.”

Arizona’s 52-41 win over California rates nine out of 10 on the bizarre-o-meter. Last week, more than 50 players stormed the president’s office to protest the coaching tactics of John Mackovic, who appeared on the verge of losing his job. Then, the Wildcats respond with their first Pac-10 win? It should be noted the two players who carried Mackovic off the field after Saturday’s win were freshmen, not seniors.

If insurrection leads to results, look for player revolts this week at Vanderbilt, Rutgers, Northwestern, Indiana, Duke and Navy.

Law and disorder: Texas Tech on Thursday issued a “zero-tolerance” policy regarding fans running on the field after games. The rule stated anyone breaking this rule would be subject to arrest. Naturally, after Texas Tech upset Texas on Saturday, thousands of fans stormed the field. No arrests were made.

The news in Manhattan, Kan., was that fans did not tear down the goal posts after Kansas State’s 49-13 victory against Nebraska. After all, wins against Nebraska are becoming old hat. Kansas State once lost 29 consecutive games to Nebraska, but has won three out of the last five meetings. Just to be safe, Kansas State Coach Bill Snyder kept his starters on the field well into the fourth quarter.

Here’s a question all self-respecting Notre Dame fans must ask: How could Connecticut, in only its third season in Division I-A, defeat Navy, 38-0, while the Irish last week had to rally to defeat the Midshipmen, 30-23?

Congratulations to UCLA, which cracked the top 25 in the writers’ and coaches’ polls during an off-week.