Count on These Guys to Get Full Extension

In case you’re wondering whether the Lakers will be eliminated from the NBA playoffs tonight by Sacramento, Tim Kawakami of the San Jose Mercury News is adamant the series will be extended to seven games.

“The Lakers will win Game 6 at Staples Center--probably by a point, since that’s exactly how the last two games have been decided. But the series will be tied, both teams on the edge of elimination. And there will be a Game 7.

“Mark it down in ink, and tattoo it on Shaquille O’Neal’s arm if you can find room. Get ready for Sunday, because the whole show is coming back one more time.”

Hmm, what does he know that we don’t?

Trivia time: Who is the Laker playoff leader in field-goal percentage with a minimum of 30 attempts?

Once upon a time: Eleven years ago, Spud Webb was traded from the Atlanta Hawks to Sacramento, which was 1-40 on the road during the 1990-91 season. King guard Bob Hansen greeted his new teammate by saying, “Welcome to hell.”

“I feel bad about it, to tell you the truth,” Hansen told Mike Hlas of the Cedar Rapids Gazette. “What I meant was that it was like NBA hell, where you were banished to purgatory.”

Soccer nut: Gene Wojciechowski of ESPN magazine is trying to get interested in the World Cup, but.... “I’ve got nothing against soccer, except it’s more boring than an underwriters seminar and has less scoring than a post-prom party supervised by Jerry Falwell. Plus, the hooligans drink all the good beer.... I’d rather watch the running of the squirrels than 22 folks running around on a pitch. To me, it’s hockey on grass ... without the fistfights.”

Is that all? Lennox Lewis commenting to the Associated Press on his June 8 opponent, Mike Tyson: “He’s a cartoon character. He’s ignorant, arrogant and an imbecile.”

Tyson was gentler in his appraisal of Lewis: “My main objective is to be professional but to kill him. That’s what it comes to. He should want to kill me, too, because I want to kill him.

“But I still love him.”

Don’t hold your breath: Rick Morrissey of the Chicago Tribune is patiently waiting for the White Sox to put together a meaningful winning streak: “[They] have been threatening to go on a roll for more than a year, so when [it] happens, it will be something to behold.

“When those victories start piling up, everything the Sox touch will turn to gold. The local economy will improve dramatically, and don’t be surprised if dandruff is eradicated. It will be that big.”

No high there: Jim Caple of ESPN.com, on how the Japanese will deal with soccer hooliganism: “Japan is ... discouraging hooligans by selling only U.S. beer during the World Cup.”

Trivia answer: Kurt Rambis, 59.2%.

And finally: A 13-year-old boy in Winnipeg was knocked off his skateboard by a goose that apparently misjudged its landing pattern at a pond.

“I was stunned,” said Shawn Hacking, who had two scraped knees, a sprained wrist, a ripped shirt and a red face where a wing slapped him.

“When he came in,” his mother, Kim, told the Associated Press, “He said, ‘I got hit by a goose.’ I thought it was some kind of car or something.”