Blessed Are the Complete Idiots, for ...

When the Rev. William R. Grimbol told his wife, a fellow pastor, he would be writing a book on the life of Christ for the popular “Complete Idiot’s Guide” series, she had one question: “How much do we get?” The answer prompted her to dance around the living room, singing “Pennies From Heaven.”

She wasn’t entirely kidding. As any idiot who’s been to a bookstore knows, titles that start with “Complete Idiot’s Guide to” or end with “for Dummies” are big sellers. And religion books make up one of publishing’s most popular categories. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together and see millions.

There are now 23 “Complete Idiot’s Guides” to various religious subjects, with Grimbol’s “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Life of Christ” among the more recent and successful offerings. They join others in the line of books that began with a series of computer guides in 1993 and now comprises about 500 titles selling 3 million copies a year.

Grimbol, 52, a Presbyterian minister in Shelter Island, a community on Long Island, N.Y., included pithy insights in his guide to the life of Christ, such as:

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Jesus was offensive to the people of his time, especially the religious establishment, because of his close association to those the world chose to reject and ridicule. Jesus befriended and associated with the following:

Sinners.

Tax collectors.

Women.

Prostitutes.

Samaritans.

The poor.

Lepers.

The mentally ill.

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If sales of the bright orange paperbacks seem limitless, so do the topics. Some actual titles: “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Sex on the Net” (we do the screening so you don’t have to, claims the author); “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Enhancing Self-Esteem”; “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Mafia”; and, logically enough, “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Raising Your IQ.”

By 1997, convinced that few topics were so sacred as to be off-limits for the series, and that sacred topics would sell, publisher Alpha Books put out the first religious title, “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to World Religions.” Today, said Alpha Books vice president and publisher Marie Butler-Knight, religion “is one of our strongest-performing categories for new titles.”

The series’ top-selling title in major chain bookstores is now a religion book, “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Catholicism,” Butler-Knight said.

Butler-Knight said the books appeal to readers who want “a good overview that is pleasurable as well as educational,” and the editors assume the audience has “an edgier sense of humor.”

But even with that assumption, Butler-Knight said there are lines the editors will not cross: “We probably wouldn’t do a guide to guns. Certain topics are so sensitive we would not even consider them, like abortion rights. We probably wouldn’t do an ‘Idiot’s Guide to Death and Dying.’” (However, there is a “Complete Idiot’s Guide to Near Death Experiences.”)

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The writers of these books were not reporters.... They were editors ....Some folks have a problem with the notion of Gospel writers as editors. It implies these men may have manipulated the material and presented their own version of the story. That is exactly what they did, but they did so because they believed themselves called to do so.

--Grimbol’s book on Christ

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Anyone who has used a preparation manual for, say, a driver’s license test knows the “Complete Idiot” format. There are short chapters broken up into shorter subsections. The books are heavy on white space, light on text, with graphic infoboxes and liberal use of text bullets. Each chapter begins with an “In this chapter” introductory box and ends with a “Least you need to know” summary.

The instruction manual format is overlaid with gently sarcastic headings and chapter titles. “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Bible,” for instance, contains these titles on chapter summaries: “Adam and Eve in the Brave Nude World (Genesis 2:4-25)”; “1,000 Prostitutes--No Waiting (1 Corinthians 1:1-8)”; “Hebrews: Everything Old Is New Again”; and, for a passage summarizing the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, “Hot Time in the Cities (Genesis 19:1-29).”

“The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Zen Living” divides its infoboxes into categories and labels them. “One Hand Clapping” boxes contain Zen wisdom “and other information that adds to or expands upon each chapter.” Whereas “Monkey Mind” boxes “supply you with things to watch out for, be careful of or avoid.” They are bluntly practical. One “Monkey Mind” box alerts readers that “Randomly changing jobs or quitting a job you dislike probably won’t do you any good ....Living Zen ... doesn’t mean financial irresponsibility.”

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One of the standard Smothers Brothers bits was the accusation the two used to level at each other that “Momma always loved you more”.... Their sufferings pale, however, to those of Jacob’s son Joseph. As we will see, Joseph spent his entire life trying to overcome the aftermath of being his father’s favorite.

--From “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Bible”

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Grimbol said the distilled style and purpose of the “Idiot” books actually parallels a method ministers exercise regularly. “They are like sermons,” he said. “It gives you enough engaging material so that you might want to keep looking.”

Grimbol, who has been a clergyman for 25 years, said he did not duck controversy. For example, he said his book on Christ reflects his view that “Jesus Christ was not a capitalist.” Grimbol writes that when Jesus spoke of an abundant life, “he did not mean owning more and more stuff.”

Grimbol acknowledges the apparent contradiction between what he preaches and his delivery of the message through books that are a branded, packaged, marketed product--and a lucrative one at that. But he says he’s not using his royalty checks to live lavishly.

“I’ve got six teenagers living in my house now and two of them will be going to college soon,” he said, “I’m just paying bills.”