Everyone Consider This a Going-Away Present

Some notes, observations and a genuine “I told you so” rant and rave from Dodger Manager Jim Tracy as I begin a two-week vacation fishing with Mike Garrett.

I just hope he got my invitation.

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THIS WHOLE business about Laker broadcaster Chick Hearn being too old, goofing up parade introductions--maybe it is time for a change--hits a little too close to home. We’ve learned, as a staff, to make allowances with sports editor Bill Dwyre, and while it’s true and he forgets himself at times referring to Plaschke, Adande, Pucin and myself as “Matthew, Mark, Lucy and John,” he’s still the best in the business the four hours a day when he shows up to work.

Paul Sunderland might one day replace Chick, and while he’s a little too serious for my taste, he did a fine job in Chick’s place while Chick was on the mend.

But I still want Chick behind the microphone, occasionally telling me that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar just threw in a hook when I know it had to be Shaquille O’Neal, and sounding at times as if the Lakers are never going to win again. Shoot, on his worst days, he’s still more lucid than Dwyre on his best days, and we’re not complaining.

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IT APPEARS the Angels have given up on starter Scott Schoeneweis, parking him in the bullpen. “I still think he’s going to be a good major league starter,” Manager Mike Scioscia said. He just didn’t say with which team.

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BY HIS own account, “I embarrassed myself” last year, Dodger infielder Alex Cora said, but check the fine print: Cora is someone who obviously does not quit. Despite Dodger pronouncements he’d be competing for his job, the team handed the shortstop position to Cesar Izturis, who has been a marvel with the glove, and a .237 hitter. Cora is batting .316, and might become attractive trade bait, giving him the chance to start elsewhere, a reward for hanging tough.

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KAZUHISA ISHII pulled a Phil Jackson and probably played himself right out of the All-Star game. Odalis Perez, tonight’s starter, now looks Milwaukee-bound.

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ERIC KARROS was hitting .300 when he came to bat in the ninth, and I thought I might have to delay my vacation to stay and get him back above .300 if he failed to hit safely. But I could tell he wanted me to go; he singled.

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I BUMPED into Alonso Aguirre, jockey Laffit Pincay’s brother, at Hollywood Park, and he said he was an Angel fan. That’s the first one I’ve ever met. He has been walking around with his head shaved ever since 1995 because he bet the Angels would make the playoffs after they went up by 12 games in August, and when they lost, he lost his hair.

Some people say Laffit’s horses run scared, and faster after getting a look at a bald Aguirre, which might explain Pincay’s incredible success.

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ERIC GAGNE gives credit to Jesse Orosco and Paul Lo Duca for helping him be so successful. For example, he had Darin Erstad 3-1 in the ninth inning Friday night, and Lo Duca called for a fastball and Gagne shook his head, so Lo Duca agreed to have him throw a changeup. Orosco later told Gagne he admired him for “not being scared” to throw the change. Erstad eventually struck out.

“I learn so much from these guys; getting to play baseball only two months a year in Montreal, there’s so much I don’t know,” Gagne said. In fact, right now he doesn’t even know how good he is.

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WHEN I joked with Tracy, asking him if he was counting on Darren Dreifort being ready to pitch in the playoffs, Ken Gurnick, the Dodger reporter for mlb.com, reacted as if he was being paid to protect Tracy from any tomfoolery in these serious baseball times. Gurnick huffed, “It’s still June.” Wait until Monday, he won’t be able to say that.

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REMEMBER, I just report the facts. This comes by way of e-mail and apparently was lifted from a San Diego newspaper. At a recent event, Charger linebacker Junior Seau was introduced at the dedication of a new park, which Seau’s foundation funded in part. Someone suggested linebacker Dick Butkus knew where an opposing ballcarrier was going because he could read lips, and asked Seau if he did the same thing. Seau said, no. “Everybody should know that I can’t read because, remember, I went to USC.”

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NOW THAT the World Cup is over, you might wonder if there is anything that can match the excitement. How about Feliciano Lopez versus Andre Sa? That’s men’s tennis at Wimbledon. Had I told you those two would be fighting for the pole in next week’s CART race, you probably would have bought that too.

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I’LL NEED a two-week vacation before getting to work and turning around Adrian Beltre’s season.

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AFTER PLAYING the role of sheepish nice guy until now, Tracy made sure the media knew it was very dumb in its preseason assessment, and the Dodgers were very smart in almost every decision made going into this season. And when Tracy really got rolling, he went all the way back to the time when he was hired and reminded everyone of their predictions that he wouldn’t last, and look at him now.

For the record, Tracy might have sounded like former GM Kevin Malone for a day, but he still hasn’t lasted as long as Malone. I like his chances, but as he suggested, I’ve been wrong before.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from S & R:

“Ever since they found those hookers on that golf course in Norco, it seems you’re always out on assignment golfing. What’s up with that?”

I never realized how much fun a threesome could be.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at [email protected].