Sorry Salma, but Mimi Has Come Into His Life

I mentioned in the newspaper that if J-Lo, Britney or Charlize Theron wanted Laker playoff tickets they would have to fend for themselves, because I’m no baby-sitter, but if actress Mimi Rogers wanted to go, I’d take care of it.

Hey, I can’t tell you how many girls I asked to dance going all the way back to eighth grade, but I don’t recall a single one saying, “yes.”

However, when I arrived at work Wednesday, I had a message on my answering machine: “Hi, this is Mimi Rogers. I was reading the newspaper, and saw what you wrote. Would I like to go to a Laker game? Yes. Yes. Yes.”

Now I’ve never heard a woman yell, “yes, yes, yes” like that before, and after replaying it 20 or so times, I’m a little upset now 51 years into life to learn it just took a ticket to get that reaction. A ticket, by the way, I didn’t have.

My first thought was to take columnist Rick Majerus’ press row seat, and that way we could also replace his mug shot in the newspaper with Mimi’s pretty face.

“My husband and I would love to go to the game,” she said.

No. No. No.

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NOW I had to find two Laker playoff tickets for the happy couple.

I called Hugh Hefner, knowing he likes to go to Laker games, and maybe just this once he’d agree to go with only five of his seven girlfriends, but his publicist said he was busy behind closed doors and could not be disturbed.

I called USC President Steven Sample, because I’ve seen football Coach Pete Carroll and other athletic administrators sitting in the front row, and asked if the Prez would be using his two tickets.

“I don’t know,” said his secretary, and when I asked her to transfer me to the big guy so I could find out, she hung up on me.

My wife called, and I said I was busy trying to get Mimi Rogers tickets for the Laker game. She wanted to know why I wasn’t trying to get a ticket for her. I told her now that I’ve heard Mimi’s reaction to getting a ticket, I planned on getting all kinds of tickets for her, and that seemed to satisfy her.

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I GOT two tickets from the Lakers’ John Black, my new favorite PR guy, called Mimi and made plans to meet her at halftime outside the Chairman’s Room at Staples Center.

Now I don’t know how many times this has happened to you, but I was just standing there as Mimi came running down the hall to throw herself at me, and Salma Hayek turned the corner. It could have been worse: My wife could have gotten a ticket.

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THE GAME was boring so I decided to challenge myself while standing in the hallway outside of celebrity central looking for a tall actor.

I hope Dustin Hoffman and James Van Der Beek (Dawson’s Creek) didn’t take it as an insult or think I was arrogant because I was looking over their heads.

I wouldn’t have seen Jada Pinkett-Smith, Will’s wife, if it hadn’t been for Salma taking offense to her advances.

“I’m watching you,” Salma said, as Pinkett-Smith told me she has a “sweet spot for Gary Payton and I don’t think Will knows about it.”

I promised it would be our little secret.

“You look like you have a little rough edge to you just like Gary,” she said, and now I know why Brad Pitt has let himself go to seed; sometimes it’s better not to look so good and have a little peace and quiet.

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MIMI, AND her husband, Chris Ciaffa could not have been nicer, and if I got two free tickets to a Laker playoff game I could probably fake being nice for a few minutes, too. I think I could. I really do.

Now most people know Mimi as Tom Cruise’s first wife or from her Playboy pictorial, but I’ve always admired her work, including movies like “Someone to Watch Over Me,” and my favorite, “Full Body Massage.”

When we talked on the phone she said she was the mother of two now, and I guess she detected some disappointment in my voice, because she said, “Don’t worry, I still have a body to lust for.”

That’s good, because when I write down $420 on my expense report for two tickets to the Laker game, the form requires a good reason.

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I ASKED Salma if she was upset Mimi was at the game as my guest, and she said, “I’m furious,” and I thought she did a great job of controlling her rage. “She gets free tickets, and what do I get?”

How about Majerus’ column?

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FOR THE record, I asked Dodger chairman Bob Daly earlier in the day if he would give up his ticket for the Laker game for Mimi. He said, “no.”

It was a very short conversation.

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THE LAKERS said Elisabeth Shue was also going to be in attendance for the game, and when Times’ sports editor Bill Dwyre heard that, he said, “Owwwwwwwwghh!” and appeared as if he was going to faint.

I don’t know why people have such a fascination with celebrities.

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THERE WAS a rumor the Lakers’ win over the Kings in Game 7 cost Rick Fox $200,000 and a part in the movie, “Holes,” which had been scheduled to begin shooting last week. “I’m close to losing it, but not yet,” he said.

He said producers changed the movie’s shooting schedule, but the part will still be his “if this series ends quickly.”

Fox hit five of eight shots and scored 14 points in Game 1, certainly doing his part to keep his acting career alive.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Robert R.

“Do the people at Staples Center think Laker fans are so dumb we need to be told when to ‘make some noise?’ ”

That’s for the actors and actresses who require direction to do anything.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at [email protected].