Formula Trips Up Quirky ‘Monk’

A baby wipe, an empty holster and an insurance statement from a Dr. Kroger. Given these items, can you assemble a profile of their owner?

If you said, “Why, it’s a brilliant San Francisco police detective who’s trying to rejoin the force after a suspension because of obsessive compulsiveness spurred by a tragic loss in his life,” then you might as well call yourself Adrian Monk.

This champion of the broad jump to Olympic-sized conclusions is the hero of the not-so-mysteriously titled “Monk,” a detective series premiering tonight at 9 on USA with a two-hour installment, before moving into a 10-11 p.m. slot next week.

Apprehension, in every sense of the word, is the name of his game. Possessed of a photographic memory and the reasoning ability of nine Supreme Court justices, Monk (Tony Shalhoub) knows how to put criminals behind bars. What he can’t arrest are the neuroses, enough to fill up half the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, derailing his career.

Sounds like heavy stuff. But not in this show, which turns the demon of anxiety into a muse of comedy. While participating in investigations as a consultant, Monk is distracted by fears of germs when shaking hands and by whether he left his oven on at home. The only person with the knack for soothing him is his nurse Sharona (Bitty Schram), who dispenses common sense and disinfecting tissues.

Despite very likable characters, deft acting and the psychological twist, the rest of “Monk” appears to be pretty standard issue. Tonight’s mystery isn’t all that hard to solve, and naturally, as Monk pieces everything together, he drives everyone crazy. His behavior torments his on-again, off-again boss, Capt. Stottlemeyer (Ted Levine), most of all.

“This isn’t police work, this is vaudeville!” the esteemed but so darned conventional Stottlemeyer blurts out, and you have to agree with him. But this is TV, after all, where even a germ-phobic hero can feel compelled to touch and count every parking meter he passes while fleeing from a driver trying to run him over.