He Looks for Any Edge in Finding the Real Story

NEW ORLEANS —  My Super Bowl Diary: Day Three

NEW ORLEANS--Some people might think I’m not hip because I don’t know that much about music and don’t know anything about the rock band You-Two, which will be performing at halftime of Super Bowl 36. But I’m willing to learn.

When Green Bay publicist Lee Remmel, who goes back to the beginning with Vince Lombardi, made an announcement Wednesday that “the legendary band You-Two” would be appearing at a news conference shortly, I knew these guys had to be as big as Perry Como to get that kind of endorsement from Remmel.

In fact, NFL publicist Steve Brener said You-Two is as big as the Beatles were, but when I asked him to name everyone in the band, he could only think of two names, which doesn’t quite put them up there with John, Paul, George and Ringo in my book, or Peter, Paul and Mary, for that matter. You see, I know more than you think.

If I remember correctly, Brener said the You-Two members he knew were The Edge--and I would presume Mr. and Mrs. Edge were counting on a professional wrestler when their child was born--and Sonny Bono. I thought I’d heard something about Sonny Bono no longer being with us, but I can’t imagine a PR specialist like Brener not knowing what he’s talking about.

When I got to the news conference, it was jammed with reporters and cameramen. I could see this was going to be almost as big as the Chunky Soup news conference. Frankly, I didn’t know Sonny and his friends were that popular, but then I realized the game will be over at halftime and this will be it for the Super Bowl.

Everyone was very friendly while waiting, music was playing, and the guy next to me said, “It’s a beautiful day,” and I said, “I’ll take your word for it, but I’ve been locked in the press room studying Xs and O’s,” and he said, “No, ‘It’s a Beautiful Day,’” and I’ve heard stories about musicians and drugs, but this was my first experience with it at a Super Bowl from anyone other than a football player.

What a surprise, of course, but the rock band was late for the news conference. So I read about the NFL’s patriotic entertainment plans with the Boston Pops, known as “America’s Orchestra,” performing American classics, Mariah Carey singing the national anthem and Mary J. Blige and Marc Anthony doing “America the Beautiful.” Four former presidents--well, five, if you include Nancy Reagan--will read the work of Abraham Lincoln, and then another great American, Paul McCartney, will offer a tribute “to the spirit of everyday heroes.”

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AFTER 30 minutes, the piped-in music was beginning to get on my nerves, so I said to a woman something about being stuck here waiting for You-Two, and she said, “Stuck in a moment,” and I said, “That’s what I just said,” and she said, “‘Stuck in a Moment,’” as if she knew something I didn’t, and I’m so glad now I never let my daughters watch MTV.

The news conference finally began with NFL official Brian McCarthy telling everyone Jonathan Kraft, son of the Patriots’ owner, had just whispered into Bono’s ear who the starting quarterback will be Sunday--”making him the first person at Super Bowl 36 other than the Patriots to know.” The NFL has almost 2,000 accredited members of the media here, and Sonny gets the scoop.

McCarthy told everyone the events of Sept. 11 had led to a change in entertainment this year. “It’s always been patriotic over the top,” McCarthy said, “but this year we’re going to have it be meaningful and relevant.”

I made a note to ask McCarthy later how an Irish band makes this whole patriotic thing more relevant in America, and why someone like Bruce Springsteen wasn’t called on to rock the place with “Born in the USA.” I credit Springsteen with giving me my first look at Courtney Cox, and for you people who have no idea what I’m talking about, you really do need to study up on your music trivia.

McCarthy told the media You-Two could only take a few questions “because the band needs to get to rehearsal.” I thought about yelling: “The band should have been on time,” but I didn’t want to get a Raider-like reputation with the NFL, and some day have them review my request to cover the Super Bowl and make up some rule to keep me out.

At that point four middle-aged men came on the stage, cameras flashed, and it has been a long time since I’ve seen Sonny Bono, but he wasn’t there.

“Where’s Bono?” I asked, and three people pointed to this guy carrying a football wearing sunglasses and an ugly coat. “Sonny?” I said, and one of them said, “Bono?” and I said, “Yes,” and they pointed to the guy with the football, and I’m telling you these people in the music business are wacko.

And I thought Xxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxx was out to lunch, and once too often--but that really doesn’t matter, does it? As you know, I’m not allowed to write about her while I’m here, which explains why I was hanging on every word The Edge had to say.

When it was over, I still hadn’t heard one of their songs, and asked someone if they could name one of their hits. “Sunday Bloody Sunday,” I was told, and I can’t imagine the NFL requesting that. So I prevailed on halftime show producer Dennis Despier, who operates Select Productions in our very own Tustin, to tell his very own hometown newspaper what You-Two will be singing Sunday--just in case I get stuck in the restroom and miss it.

“I believe the NFL likes a little suspense,” Despier said, and I had to be honest with him:

“I’ve never heard ‘a little suspense.’ How does that one go?”

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers.com.