They Earn Ringing Endorsements

Quarterbacks, coaches and kickers--they are the keys to any Super Bowl tournament. Except for the last one, which was an aberration, as the 2001 New York Giants proved, and really something everyone would prefer to forget.

In deference to the figure skaters who have been engaged in their own Ice Bowl this week in L.A., here is how the 12 teams still standing would place on the medals podium:

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QUARTERBACKS

Gold: Brett Favre, Green Bay. Still the man you want if you have to win one game, on any kind of surface, in any kind of weather. Unless, perhaps, your scouts report he plays golf with the left defensive end on the opposing team.

Silver: Kurt Warner, St. Louis. He’s 3-1 in four postseason starts, averaging 27.8 points a game. And it’s nothing but slick plastic grass inside climate-controlled domes from here through the Super Bowl.

Bronze: Rich Gannon, Oakland. Showed his age down the stretch and could have used the bye week that the Raiders’ 0-3 finish fumbled away. Still, he’s easily the class of the AFC playoff quarterbacks and the one man the Raiders cannot afford to lose, as last year’s AFC final reminded.

The field: Donovan McNabb of Philadelphia went 1-1 in last season’s playoffs but won’t be playing the Giants this time around. It’s not difficult to envision him carrying the Eagles past Tampa Bay and Chicago into the NFC final.... Jeff Garcia of San Francisco is cold weather-conditioned, having played four seasons in Calgary. But in his biggest game of the regular season, at St. Louis on Dec. 9, he looked like a deer staring into a stampede.... Tom Brady of New England is the great X factor of these playoffs. No one has a clue how he’ll handle the pressure, but Drew Bledsoe took the Patriots to a Super Bowl, and Brady beat him out.... When does Pittsburgh’s Kordell Stewart fly off the rails? In the second round? Or the AFC final? ... Chicago’s Jim Miller is this year’s Trent Dilfer. Which is more than Baltimore can say about Elvis Grbac. Brad Johnson of Tampa Bay took the ’99 Redskins to the second round. He’ll be lucky to get that far this time.... If Vinny Testaverde of the New York Jets and Jay Fiedler of Miami can be classified as “playoff quarterbacks,” it’s time the NFL considered contracting its playoffs.

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COACHES

Gold: Mike Martz, St. Louis. Frankly, a lot of people were wondering about him this time last season. But he’s smart enough to admit a mistake (his 2000 defense), correct it (new defensive coordinator Lovie Smith has the NFC’s top-ranked unit) and retool on the fly.

Silver: Brian Billick, Baltimore. Won a Super Bowl with Dilfer, convincing himself he was indeed God’s gift to coaching. But if he were half as smart as he thinks he is, wouldn’t he have thought twice before signing Grbac and beginning training camp without a capable backup for Jamal Lewis?

Bronze: Bill Belichick, New England. Until 2001, his reputation as a defensive mastermind never translated into head coaching success. Can create a game plan with the best of them, and now he needs only two more to reach the Super Bowl.

The field: Bill Cowher of Pittsburgh has been to the Super Bowl before. But if he’s pinning this run on Stewart not making big mistakes and winning it on Kris Brown field goals, he won’t be returning.... If Oakland’s Jon Gruden and San Francisco’s Steve Mariucci are really the long-term answers in the Bay Area, why do they lead the league in next-stop rumors? ... Likewise, Tony Dungy of Tampa Bay is rumored to be headed here, there and everywhere except the Super Bowl.... And if the Chicago Bears are truly sold on Dick Jauron, why did it take the NFC coach of the year until December to receive a handshake on a contract extension? ... Mike Sherman of Green Bay is no Lombardi. But at 21-11 in his first two seasons, he’s no Phil Bengston, either.... Andy Reid doesn’t have a lot of resources in Philadelphia, but he shouldn’t have struggled until the 16th week to win the flimsiest division in the league.... Herman Edwards somehow won 10 games with a New York Jet team that has scored only 13 more points than it has allowed. But let’s see him beat the Raiders in Oakland again.... Dave Wannstedt of Miami can get you to the second round. But once there, he has been outscored 27-0 with the 2000 Dolphins and 44-15 with the ’94 Bears.

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KICKERS

Gold: David Akers, Philadelphia. Was 26 for 31 on regular-season field-goal attempts, and two for three from 50 yards or longer. And when you kick for the Eagles, every field goal is a potential game-turner.

Silver: Matt Stover, Baltimore. For most of Baltimore’s 2000 Super Bowl run, he was the long and short of the Ravens’ offense. He knows the drill.

Bronze: Paul Edinger, Chicago. Has the same .839 percentage as Akers, and is 13 for 16 between 40 and 49 yards.

The field: Adam Vinatieri has driven home a lot a field goals through freezing winds for New England over the years, and now they mean something.... The incredible shrinking Dolphin offense has even swept up Olindo Mare, now a short-range specialist who’s only two for four on attempts longer than 39 yards.... Jeff Wilkins kicks a lot of extra points for St. Louis.... John Hall of the Jets is three for six from 50 yards or more, including last week’s 53-yarder to clinch the rematch with the Raiders.... The Raiders would be kicking back this weekend and waiting for the second round to come to them if Sebastian Janikowski had a personal trainer.... At Tampa Bay, they finally found a way to calm down Martin Gramatica: pulled hamstring.... Ryan Longwell, a good name for a field-goal man, has the misfortune of taking many of his kicks off the tundra in Green Bay.... Jose Cortez of San Francisco was one for one from 50 yards and out and one for two from 19 yards and in.... For Pittsburgh’s sake, the less said about Kris Brown the better.

And that takes us to the big prize....

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TEAMS

Gold: St. Louis Rams. They are the Lakers of professional football, with their own Shaq-Kobe routine in Warner and Marshall Faulk.

Silver: Green Bay Packers. They are undefeated in postseason games at Lambeau Field and 2-0 against the Bears this season.

Bronze: Pittsburgh Steelers. They are flawed, but holding the home field through the AFC side of the tournament counts for something.