10 WORST

1. Skategate

Corruption at a figure skating competition? Reports of collusion among figure skating judges, vote-swapping and score-fixing? Yeah, and ice is cold and Salt Lake City has many Mormons. Something should have been done years ago, but the best Olympic officials, spurred on by a frothing media, could manage in 2002 was to mint another set of pairs skating gold medals and let the second-place Canadians share the first-place glory with the Russians. Still waiting for their second set of gold medals: the 1972 U.S. men’s Olympic basketball team.

2. Ted-sicle

Ted Williams, baseball’s last .400 hitter, dies at 83 and how do his children choose to preserve his memory? By squabbling for months about what to do with Dad’s remains after son John Henry, claiming he was acting on Ted’s wishes, arranges to have Williams’ body cryogenically frozen and stored ... until when? Until baseball expands again, diluting pitching staffs to the point where Ted, once thawed, might be able to make another run at .400?

3. Baseball, Juiced

Former National League MVP Ken Caminiti claimed 50% of major league players were on steroids. Jose Canseco put the figure closer to 80%. With their sport under suspicion, the owners and players gave the steroid issue lip service during labor talks, agreeing on a toothless compromise that will do little to curb abuse. In the meantime, can any recent home run or RBI record be viewed without skepticism?

4. Baseball Fans, Juiced

Frustration over a possible baseball strike spilled over into ugliness at Edison Field and other ballparks. But those displays were dwarfed by the on-field assault of Kansas City Royal first base coach Tom Gamboa by a father and his 15-year-old son, both shirtless, at Comiskey Park. After their arrest, the father, William Ligue Jr., claimed to have been on five drugs at the time.

5. Hootie’s World

This year’s biggest mountain out of a molehill can be found in Augusta, Ga., where Hootie Johnson, Augusta National chairman, went public with a written request to open his males-only club to women from Martha Burk, head of the National Council of Women’s Organizations. Johnson had three options: a) agree to admit a female; b) reply privately to Burk that someday we’ll look into it; or c) alert the media and throw a tantrum. Because Hootie went with the worst option on the board, we might never hear the end of it.

6. Team USA at Worlds

After finishing an embarrassing third at the 1988 Olympics, the United States pushed for the inclusion of NBA stars in international competition. From 1992 on, a succession of U.S. “dream teams” went 58-0 ... until the 2002 edition lost early to Argentina at the World Championship, then again to Yugoslavia and tanked against Spain. What now? Force the rest of the world to use only amateurs?

7. L.A. Hoops (after Aug.)

It was a sad off-season for the Lakers, who lost their legendary play-by-play announcer, Chick Hearn, on Aug. 5. The regular season that followed has produced a funk so severe that every basketball team in Los Angeles has spun out of sync. The Lakers are 13-19, the Clippers 12-18 and UCLA and USC are a combined 6-8.

8. Egregiously Self

Promoting Network

A lot of people watch ESPN, but no one loves ESPN nearly as much as ESPN. From hyping celebrations to itself (the ESPYs, the 25,000th “SportsCenter”) to virtually unwatchable programming (“Season on the Brink,” “Around the Horn”), the network has become so obnoxious and self-absorbed, it’s almost enough to drive a viewer over to Fox. Almost.

9. Road To Pretty Good Bowl

Mediocrity ruled the NFL in 2002, producing a regular season in which anyone could lose to anyone, .500 teams stayed in contention until the final Sunday, 11-5 earned the No. 1 seeding in the AFC and no team emerged as “Most Likely to Win the Super Bowl.” Well, it used to be super.

10. No Longer a Staple

What if they threw a women’s tennis tournament and nobody came? Staples Center nearly found out, as the early rounds of the under-publicized, over-priced, confusingly titled Home Depot WTA Championships were played out in front of dozens of spectators. You’d find bigger crowds shopping for paint rollers on a Thursday at Home Depot.

-- Mike Penner