Nibbling at a New Theory

So now we know why we like cheese so much. It’s our mouse genes. An impressive international team of scientists has mapped the mouse genome, the complex collection, arrangement and bonding of some 30,000 genes. As life’s biological building blocks, genes program mice -- indeed, all living things from bacteria to biologists -- to think, look, act and dress as they do. The scientists, who carry the white-lab-coat gene and often eat cheese, explain in their Nature article that humans and mice have a lot more in common than thought. Ninety-nine percent of mouse and human genes are the same.

Of course, we’ve long suspected an invisible human bond with little mice. Rats are dirty, deserving of disgust or life as lab test subjects, drinking immense amounts of colas and wine. But mice are different. Except for Orkin staffers, humans often appear halfhearted in hunting mice; mousetraps catch more fingers than the minuscule rodents.

You know all the mouse cartoons and stories, right? Well, who’d you cheer for -- Tom or Jerry? Mighty Mouse? He’s a hero. Mickey Mouse? We built him a theme park. Stuart Little got adopted. Mice just seem more like us. Now, we know why.

Mice come inside when it’s cold. They sneak snacks late at night and dislike loud teen music. Also, Mickey and Minnie aside, few mice don hats. Have you noticed fewer humans, especially women, wearing hats recently? See any connection? Or polyester leisure suits. Neither species likes them anymore. Now, at this month’s holiday parties watch how cheese is served -- in little cubes, just right for both species.

These scientific findings also prompt wonder about whether humans are unique in their study of other species. We know from recent reports that wild dogs evolved into domesticated pets by studying what animal behavior evoked beneficial treatment from humans. Maybe behind those little round holes in the walls of our homes and garages are vast, bustling laboratories of mice in white coats studying humans, mixing steaming beakers of poison antidotes, experimenting with mousetrap-clearing machines and testing smells and sounds that repel and attract humans.

It’s all coming together now, thanks to the Nature report. The human scientists even found that their species carries the same tail gene as mice. Although few humans have grown tails, many do appear to look for them each morning, turning sideways to check in the mirror, perhaps hopefully.