LAUGH LINES

Burning Midnight Oil: “L.A. proposed a new midnight basketball league. It’s not for gang members or troubled kids. They just want the Clippers to play at midnight so no one will see them.” (Jay Leno)

Heading for E-Trouble: “Experts warn against sending resumes by e-mail. . . . Management Recruiters International suggests double-checking e-mail monikers because potential employers might be turned off by frivolous or offensive screen names. . . . Like: ‘To whom it may concern: I’m responsible, loyal and hard-working. Sincerely, S[email protected].’ ” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Heart of the Problem: “According to a new study, the graveyard shift can cause heart disease. . . . Why do you think they call it the ‘graveyard shift?’ ” (Daily Scoop)

Wedding Blues: It was recently “Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford’s 14th wedding anniversary. . . . So apparently, Frank broke two mirrors.” (Rudolph J. Cecera)

In Disguise: “Here’s a quick [Halloween] costume idea: It would be pretty easy to go as George W. Bush. What you do is get a dark suit, a red tie, and then you sniff glue till you get that glazed look in your eyes. . . .” (Leno)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.