Fathers in Training

Fathering a baby?

That’s easy--sometimes much too easy.

Being a good father?

That’s hard--a 24-hour-a-day challenge of patience and stamina that takes a real man to master.

Even men who become fathers intentionally and with the relative maturity of full-grown adulthood find the demands on body, spirit and wallet to be daunting at times. That’s why it’s essential to have good programs to support men who find themselves thrust into the father role while still in their teens.

This is not to minimize the challenge faced by teenage mothers. Indisputably, the changes in their lives and demands on their time and energy are even greater than those awaiting most young fathers. But as staff writer Matt Surman reported last week in the Ventura County Edition of The Times, local programs to help young parents are oriented almost entirely to helping the mothers. It would benefit the entire community--present and future--to make sure teenage fathers get all the training, mentoring and support they need to do the best they can at fulfilling their responsibilities.

Although counselors, social workers and religious leaders all say they want to see more male involvement, Surman reported that programs specifically for fathers are few.

“People are so busy serving girls, you just run out of time, money and staff,” said Kathy Auth, who teaches parenting at Gateway Community School, a continuation high school, where only one of 43 teenagers she taught last semester was male. “It sends a negative message--like, it’s not your problem. We’re telling them just what we don’t want them to hear.”

About 90% of the students in most high school parenting programs are girls. In part, that’s because the babies of teenage mothers are often fathered by men who are significantly older and out of school. But there are too many teenage fathers in Ventura County trying to figure it all out for themselves.

Surprisingly, reaching out to teen fathers is a relatively new idea. The state Department of Social Services sponsors a male involvement program, but the money doesn’t go far. Funds in Ventura County dried up last year. Young Men as Fathers, created by the California Youth Authority for incarcerated boys, also lost its funding in the county. A program at El Concilio del Condado de Ventura has since been rolled into a general responsibility program for both boys and girls.

The county recently expanded some teen parenting programs--but they have failed to catch young males. In December 1998, the county Board of Education accepted a $370,000 state grant to reach more teen parents and expand child-care services. Though the classes are aimed at parents of both genders, boys tend to shy away from them.

There are about 500 teenagers in the Ventura County Department of Health’s responsibility program for at-risk girls; a similar program aimed specifically at boys has only 50, although its leader knows there are many other young dads out there who would benefit.

There is room here for both public agencies and private groups to lend a hand. Existing programs through the county and schools should be fully funded and expanded; men’s clubs and faith-based organizations also have much to offer.

In many cases, boys who father children while still in their teens themselves lacked a father figure to learn from. Providing that guidance now would be good for the young fathers, good for their partners and babies and good for the entire community.