Liz and Liza Forever

There’s a question that I was hoping you all could answer for me. What exactly happens to Liz Smith if she doesn’t include the names Elizabeth Taylor or Liza Minnelli in at least one of her columns during the week? Does the Earth stop rotating on its axis or does Smith simply require hospitalization?

You know, on second thought, I don’t think you all can answer this question, since the situation described has obviously never arisen.

GARRY KLUGER

Los Angeles