A Couple in Love in Neighborhood Much Like Yours

It was way back in the early ‘80s when a call came from a friend, a television reporter from Boston. She had just been to a wedding.

“Who got married?” I asked.

A good friend, she said--a woman she knew who worked as a writer in another large city back East.

“Who’d she marry?” I asked.

A very nice woman, she said--she’d met her in . . .

“She married a her?”

As a matter of fact, yes.

“Is that legal?”

As a matter of fact, no.

“So why’d they do it?” I asked.

Because they loved each other, she said. And isn’t that what people in love with each other do?

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Californians who spot “Yes on 22” signs on lawns in your neighborhood, here is what they mean: A few weeks from now, you are being encouraged to go to the polls and tell certain couples in love that they don’t deserve to get married.

A half-million of these signs have been bought and paid for by backers of Proposition 22, which states in its entirety:

Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

In other words, you other weirdos have a lot of gall, wishing to legally marry instead of shacking up.

California has a new law that entitles two men or two women to register with the state as domestic partners. However, this ballot measure in the March election gives voters a chance to tell people in love they may only marry the people you say they may marry.

Thus, “Yes on 22.”

A college professor who lives in Chino, around 30 miles east of Los Angeles, says she recently became aware of the signs multiplying in her neighborhood. She knows of people who would like to yank such signs right out of the ground, like weeds. But that’s exactly what not to do.

The best way Atara Stein could think of to appeal to her neighbors was to write a letter and go house to house, leaving a copy.

“We saw your ‘Yes on 22’ sign, and we wanted to tell you a little about ourselves,” she wrote. “We are a lesbian couple who live in your neighborhood, and we were wondering how exactly your marriage needs to be protected from us.

“We’ve lived here in Chino together since 1995. In June of 1997, we had a wedding commitment ceremony in our backyard, performed by a Unitarian-Universalist minister. The wedding was catered by my wife’s late father, who was thrilled and flattered that we asked him. It was attended by family, friends and colleagues, most of whom were straight couples. Many brought their children. None of them seemed to feel that our marriage in any way was a threat to theirs.

“We have two children, mine from a previous marriage. They live with us half the week and with their father half the week, and the five of us frequently get together for holidays and birthdays.

“They both get good grades. My daughter rides horses and likes going to the mall and the movies with her moms. My son collects Pokemon cards and is starting to skateboard with his friends. They sometimes complain about doing their homework, and we have to nag them to clean their rooms.

“We do many of the same things you do. We both work and pay taxes. We shop at Ralphs, we rent videos and sometimes we forget to return them on time. We pay our mortgage and bills and worry about our paychecks lasting through the month.

“We keep an eye out for our neighbors’ children when they’re playing in the street, and we catch our neighbors’ dogs when they escape and keep them in our yard until their owners get home. We help our third-grader with his homework and we talk to our sixth-grader about staying away from drugs and cigarettes.

“Well, we may be a little different from you. We teach our children tolerance. We’re just living our lives like you are, trying to get by as best we can. With all the problems in the world, we are disturbed that you thought that the possibility that homosexuals might one day be allowed legal marriage was the single most important issue in this election. Thanks for listening.”

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Same-sex marriage is still illegal, in all 50 states. It is illegal for that woman back East who had a ceremony all those years ago. It is illegal for couples today in California, where more than $5 million reportedly has been spent on TV ads and literature supporting Proposition 22.

Well, here’s a proposition:

No on 22. No, no, a thousand times no.

Thanks for listening.

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Mike Downey’s column appears Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Write to him at Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles 90053. E-mail: [email protected]