There’s No Spot for These Crimes

Hearing the news was as nauseating as watching somebody pull into a blue curbside parking spot, then sprint from the car.

Criminal charges were filed Thursday by the Los Angeles City Attorney’s office against 14 current and former UCLA football players who allegedly submitted phony applications to obtain handicapped parking placards.

The defendants, arguably the most able-bodied individuals on campus, allegedly claimed fake physical handicaps on the applications, then used the placards for preferred parking.

Six of the players are listed as starters for the fall season.

Three more are key reserves

Each is a portrait of strength.

There’s hard-hitting linebacker Ryan Nece, son of NFL legend Ronnie Lott.

There’s bruising fullback Durell Price.

There’s speedy and strong cornerback Ryan Roques.

You read the names and you remember last season’s heroics and you wonder, what handicaps did they allegedly fake?

Did strong linebacker Ali Abdul Azziz claim he was a paraplegic? Ha-ha.

Did swift cornerback Marques Anderson claim he suffered from multiple sclerosis? Hee-hee.

The list goes on and on.

Until you want to throw up.

These are only charges, not convictions.

But Coach Bob Toledo issued a statement giving them merit, saying, “I am embarrassed and disappointed for the young men who were involved. . . . This is not how I expect players in my program to act.”

If the charges are indeed true, heaven help those players.

Heaven help them if they ever truly have to endure the hell of parking and then getting into a wheelchair.

“That’s sick,” said Joe Tusia, 30, a former pro hockey player who is a paraplegic. “If those charges are true, that’s really, really sick.”

Tusia, of Long Beach, has been confined to a wheelchair since he was shot in a robbery five years ago.

He would like to remind the UCLA players why those handicapped spaces are so important.

It’s not only because of their proximity. It’s also because of their size.

Folks in wheelchairs need room to assemble the chairs. Quadriplegics need room for the lifts that lower those chairs to the ground.

Tusia would like to take those UCLA players on a little trip with him. To the middle of a large parking lot. With cars crowded on both sides.

“In those situations, you can’t get out of your car,” he said. “And if you park between two empty spaces, and somebody takes those spaces, you can’t get back in your car.”

He remembers the time that a handicapped spot was taken by someone without a placard, forcing him to park in the middle of a near-empty lot.

When he returned to his car, it was surrounded, leaving him momentarily helpless.

“I had to wait 15 minutes for somebody to come out, and then I had to ask them to back my car out for me,” Tusia said. “Times like that, you really start to feel different. It was kind of embarrassing.”

The UCLA football team thought it knew embarrassment.

One game from qualifying for an appearance in the national championship Fiesta Bowl last season, it suffered bad losses to underdog Miami, then underdog Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl.

Later, there were charges that the UCLA defense was distracted against Miami because it was not allowed to wear black wristbands protesting the end of affirmative action in state university admissions.

Then there was an FBI investigation of UCLA players’ involvement with gamblers, although no charges were filed and everyone was cleared.

Don’t forget the unpleasant sounds of the UCLA offense ripping the defense after the Rose Bowl, or the recent suspension of touted freshman safety Audie Attar for violating team rules.

The UCLA football team thought it knew embarrassment.

If these charges are true, they have no idea.

“I guess these guys, Division I players, big men on campus, they are used to getting the royal treatment,” Tusia said. “I’m sure they’re thinking, ‘Why shouldn’t I be in the front row?’ ”

I was arranging an interview with a paraplegic athlete once when I mentioned that I might be late because of the difficulty parking.

“I don’t have to worry about that, I’ll just use the handicapped space,” she said.

“Lucky,” I said.

“Lucky?” she said.

It is one of the most common, and cruel, of vanities. The healthier we are, the more we fail to appreciate the assistance required by those who are not.

We scamper up ramps because they are quicker.

We use handicapped bathroom stalls when no one is around because they are bigger.

And when we joyously drive up to the empty parking space at the front of a crowded lot . . . we curse when we spot the blue wheelchair design that is saving it for someone who needs it more.

It is a sadly human trait of many able-bodied people to take for granted that they are able-bodied.

It is considerably less than human, however, to take clear advantage of those who are not.

If the UCLA football players did this, their punishment should be far worse than the maximum six months in jail and $1,000 fine that goes with each misdemeanor count.

They should be made to spend those six months volunteering at local rehabilitation centers that work with those who will never make a leaping interception or a flying tackle.

Driving their vans.

Bill Plaschke can be reached at his e-mail address: [email protected].