Chalk One Up to the True Believers - Los Angeles Times
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Chalk One Up to the True Believers

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I’ve heard of football coaches giving chalk talks. But at USC, the Daily Trojan reports there’s a rumor going around that God once gave a chalk lesson in a philosophy class.

A USC instructor was supposedly a “deeply committed atheist” determined to prove that God didn’t exist. He would drop a piece of chalk on the floor and declare, “If God existed, he could stop this piece of chalk from hitting the ground and breaking.”

Then, one semester, a student proclaimed his belief in God and, when the instructor dropped the chalk, it did not break. The professor fled, so the story goes.

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The student newspaper reports that a real-life USC professor recently investigated and found that the folk tale dates back years and, in a different life, involved a chemistry teacher and a flask instead of a piece of chalk.

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PERSONAL NOTE: I’ve been a believer in God ever since I was the subject of a somewhat similar demonstration in a bar. A gentleman inadvertently (I’m sure) conked me on the head with a beer bottle. It didn’t break. I consider that a miracle, even if I was wearing a hat.

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DINING GUIDE FOR THE ADVENTUROUS: Today, fellow gourmets, Richard Young of Westlake Village sent along a recipe for some really lumpy garlic mashed potatoes. Bill Holston of Palm Desert found a fishy idea for an ice cream cone. And Sharon Helgoe of El Monte proved once and for all that there is no free lunch (see accompanying).

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BEFORE THEY BECAME MAKE-BELIEVE (PART TWO): Some more screen characters who were given the names of real people:

* Restaurant critic Gil Chesterton on “Frasier”: Named after a Beverly Hills journalism instructor admired by the series producer.

* Kramer on “Seinfeld”: After weird dude and former stand-up comic Kenny Kramer.

* Archie Leach in “A Fish Called Wanda”: After Cary Grant (Leach was his real name, author Bill Givens points out).

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* Homer, Marge, Lisa and Maggie Simpson: After the family of “Simpsons” creator Matt Groening. His father and mother are Homer and Margaret. His sisters are Lisa and Maggie. Nope, there’s no Bart in the family.

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DOGGONE WEIRD: And finally there’s the George Clooney character, who is leaving TV’s “ER.” Every time I hear a television promo about “Doctor Ross” (Clooney), I think of the Doctor Ross commercials of the 1950s and 1960s and the product’s impossible-to-forget jingle.

All together now, baby boomers, let’s sing:

Give him Dr. Ross Dog Food, do him a favor.

It’s got more meat and it’s got more flavor.

It’s got more meat to make him feel the way he should.

Dr. Ross Dog Food is doggone good. Woof!

That’s why I found some scenes of “ER” so jarring. There’s something really spooky about the idea of a dog food maker in an operating room.

miscelLAny:

In the never-ending “Duh!” category, Joan Clanton of Sun Valley saw these instructions on a baby stroller: “Please remove baby before folding stroller.”

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at [email protected] and by mail at L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053. Woof!

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