Getting to Root of Winning Office

It was Sunday morning and some of Washington’s talking heads were making their predictions.

Each and every one, liberals and conservatives alike, from the moptop George Stephanopoulos to the balding Bill Kristol, predicted that Republicans would gain seats in Congress--this despite poll after poll signaling a backlash against the presidential sex investigation.

My colleague Faye Fiore may have seen this coming. In a recent “Washington Connection” column, Faye advanced the theory that hair quality is an underestimated predictor of political success. Think about it: Doesn’t Bill Clinton have better hair than Kenneth Starr? Doesn’t Hillary have a better ‘do than Linda Tripp?

The feckless forecasts were more proof that the Washington media establishment, perhaps even more than the pols, is so clueless. The good news is that it makes American politics that much more entertaining.

Still, you’d think that some pundit somewhere would have gotten it right--and also predicted that Jesse “The Body” Ventura would be the next governor of Minnesota. Only in retrospect do we notice the obvious: Ventura, the Reform Party anti-politician, boldly adopted the anti-hair persona, shaving his dome clean.

Not that hair is destiny. History matters too--even short-term history.

But only in looking back does it seem so predictable. Six years ago, one of my pod neighbors was covering a U.S. Senate primary race between the well-connected Lt. Gov. Leo McCarthy and Rep. Mel Levine, a Westside Democrat with a big war chest. Her editor, she once told me, dismissed a third “name” candidate, Barbara Boxer, as “a nobody.”

That’s Senator Nobody to you, bub, for another six years.

Join me now for a cliche-riddled recap of recent political history.

Boxer, of course, surfaced during the Year of the Woman, a phenomenon that helped (along with affirmative action and immigration concerns) beget the Year of the Angry White Male, which gave the Republican Party control of the House. This, in turn, created the mini-backlash that decided that the most important people in America were those Soccer Moms.

Here in California, meanwhile, the AWMs’ success in pushing Proposition 187 and Proposition 209 helped Awaken the Sleeping Giant--you know, the Latino voters now happily saying adios to Pete Wilson.

And while the narrative moves to and fro, the way a wave crashing on the beach creates its own undertow, we must look to other clues to make sense of Election Day.

And this brings me back to the subject of “power hair.”

It is, certainly, an intriguing question. If Richard Nixon had had John Kennedy’s hair, would he have been elected in 1960? Nixon had better hair than Humphrey, didn’t he? And didn’t Carter have better hair than Ford? Reagan had excellent hair, of course. And while Bush’s hair had thinned a bit, was Dukakis perhaps a tad too hirsute for mainstream America? Clinton, however, had a distinct follicle advantage--and, come to think of it, has proved a master at legal hair-splitting.

But then, what are we to make of our governor-elect, Gray Davis?

Yours truly, you see, was one of the many people who just thought that Davis, a lieutenant governor even duller than Leo McCarthy, didn’t stand a chance to win the Democratic primary, much less become the state’s chief executive.

It isn’t just his bland persona. With all due respect to our governor-elect, I’ve also thought he was, well, a bit funny-looking, thanks to his hair.

Faye Fiore’s story about candidates’ hair appeared after polls showed Davis had gained the advantage over Lungren. Still, I was puzzled by her contention that Gray Davis’ stiff Gumby-esque ‘do (my description, not hers) is superior to Lungren’s receding but still youthfully dark locks. Lungren’s look, certainly, strikes me as the more natural--but I would think that, having thinned a bit myself.

So call me biased. Maybe the hair issue is what once had me convinced that Davis was the candidate least likely to succeed.

We knew Lungren would be there for the GOP. For the Democrats, Al Checchi looked like he might be tough. He had bucks, the look, the self-made success. People wondered whether his hair was real, but he looked downright Kennedyesque. The fact that he was not a career politician was an asset, I figured, just as it had been for Mayor Richard Riordan.

And then Jane Harman entered the race. Women voters, I figured, finally had their champion. She also was someone who could hurt Davis more than Checchi. I also figured that Harman, as a conservative Democrat, might be a better candidate against Lungren.

And, of course, Jane Harman has terrific hair.

But Davis it was. Go figure.

Meanwhile, there was a more encouraging sign in a local race--the election of Lee Baca as sheriff.

This was, of course, the oddest race. Faced with a choice between Baca and the late Sherman Block, the incumbent who died a few days before the balloting, voters overwhelmingly opted for the living candidate.

Baca, you may recall, used to do a bad, fuzzy comb-over that made him look a little like Mayor Rudy Giuliani of New York.

Now it seems the comb-over is gone.

If he shaves what’s left, watch out.

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Scott Harris’ column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. Readers may write to him at The Times’ Valley Edition, 20000 Prairie St., Chatsworth 91311, or via e-mail at [email protected]. Please include a phone number.