Roots: Next Generation

I traced my family roots today. It wasn’t too hard. I just used the process of elimination, as preached by Reggie White.

I’ve never figured out how to turn a television into a watch. No Asian in my background. I’ve never been able to get 20 to 30 roommates into my house. Not Hispanic either. I do tend to be a bit on the spiritual side . . . could be some African American there. I am anal about organization and I do like to make money. Definitely white in that context.

My dad says I’m equal parts Irish, Scottish, German and Polish. So, if Reggie’s logic holds, my best assets are in the areas of heavy drinking, Scotch, of course, with a tendency to be militaristically precise and accurate while constantly being the butt of bad jokes.

Gee, maybe Reggie’s right after all.

DENNIS SCHROEDER

Lake Forest