One Critic Hopes This Film Career Isn’t Long-Term

Stephen Hunter of the Washington Post isn’t a big fan of some football-players-turned-actors: “Howie Long is to acting what Sir Laurence Olivier was to the National Football League: that is, nothing at all.

“The big guy is amiable enough and square-headedly handsome, with his retro crewcut and textureless face; and words don’t seem like alien squid in his mouth. But he’s almost a complete zero as a screen presence.

“In ‘Firestorm,’ his second film and first as the star, one must say of him, like the Oakland for which he once played, there’s no there there.”

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Trivia time: When did USC last win or share the Pacific 10 basketball championship?

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Betting Tiger: At the beginning of 1997, bookmaker Ladbrokes of London offered odds of 5,000 to 1 on Tiger Woods winning all four major tournaments.

This year, it has lowered the price to 250 to 1, aware of Woods’ record-breaking performance in winning the Masters last April by 12 shots.

He also is listed at 5-to-1 to retain his Masters title.

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Kiner clone? Pittsburgh Steeler Coach Bill Cowher is known for his malapropisms. A sampling: He called club President Dan Rooney a “no thrills” owner when he meant “no frills.”

He also said, “It’s a no-win, no-lose situation,” prompting MSNBC’s Gene Collier to say, “A tie?”

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Brrrr: Julian Vaudrey, 21, of England, stunned more than 17,000 hockey fans Friday night when--stark naked--he climbed over the boards and interrupted the NHL game between the Calgary Flames and Florida Panthers at the Saddledome in Calgary.

Vaudrey pranced around the ice surface unimpeded for several minutes before security officials appeared and police took him into custody.

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Any argument? Jerome Bettis was surrounded by reporters at Three Rivers Stadium recently when a Steeler employee showed up, shouting: “The bus is leaving in five minutes.”

Said Bettis: “The bus doesn’t leave without The Bus.”

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FYI: Denver’s John Elway is the second-oldest quarterback to start in the Super Bowl at 37 years six months.

Baltimore’s John Unitas, who started Super Bowl V, is the oldest at 37 years 8 1/2 months.

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Looking back: On this day in 1975, the Steelers defeated Minnesota, 16-6, in Super Bowl IX. Franco Harris set a Super Bowl record by rushing for 158 yards.

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Looking back again: On this day in 1986, the Chicago Bears defeated the Rams, 24-0, in the NFC championship game in Chicago.

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Trivia answer: 1984-85, sharing the title with Washington.

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And finally: Irv Kupcinet of the Chicago Sun-Times recalled that Marv Levy, who recently retired as coach of the Buffalo Bills, often used historical events in addressing his players.

He once explained why Hitler was stopped in Russia. “His problem,” Levy said, “was that he couldn’t win on the road.”