Now, Our Windows ’98 Show

Here they are, the winners in the 1998 Only in L.A. Best Home Decoration, Misspelled School Notice, Dueling Sign, Clean-Living Horse and Cooperative Gunman photo competition.

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THE FACE OF REAL ESTATE, ‘98: In Hancock Park, Edwin F. Parsons Jr. snapped a shot of a mansion that reflected the classic Greco/Smiley Face architectural style. One can only presume that the owner who posted the happy, yellow symbols bought the property at the right time. Or perhaps the building survived the Northridge quake with no damage.

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IT WOULD BE A UNIQUE OBSERVANCE: Ted Rogers of West L.A. noticed a company that seemed to offer mourners wreaths made of such materials as chocolate chip cookies. Actually, the cookie store had moved away when Rogers’ photo was taken. But its sign had not been taken down by the new tenant, a flower shop.

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WRITE ON THE BLACKBOARD 100 TIMES . . . Lynne Walters of Inglewood spotted a sign at a school that deserved a “D” for spelling because one word in the notice lacked a “C.” Faulty, indeed. No doubt the sign maker later pointed out that the error did not show up on his spell-check system.

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DUELING SIGNS OF THE YEAR: At a rest stop along the San Bernardino Freeway, Tom Greene of L.A. came upon a pair of signs that seemed to dare any pet owner to let his or her animal out of the car. Mongoose owners probably wouldn’t be so worried about the poisonous-snake notice. But for anyone with a Fido or Fifi, those would be daunting signs. Then, again, if the warnings keep off-road vehicles out of the area. . . .

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IF THAT ISN’T A KICK . . . In Silver Lake, Ruben Martinez noticed a tattoo shop whose directional sign could have been more delicately worded. With his photo, Martinez completed a trilogy for Only in L.A., which had previously published shots of signs that read, “Nails in Rear” and “Kick Boxing in Rear.”

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NO TIME FOR SLOE GIN: With pro football in L.A. nonexistent and pro basketball players locked out, the most popular TV sport became the seemingly daily freeway car chase. Critters, a Hermosa Beach bar, took note of the trend with a sign that was snapped by Steve Fazzio.

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ANGELENOS ON THE ROAD: Jewell Jones of San Pedro photographed a somewhat suggestive sign at a business, and, no, it wasn’t the tattoo shop in Silver Lake. This was a laundry in Sacramento. Talk about cheeky.

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A LOT OF HORSE SENSE: The owner of a clean-living critter placed a newspaper ad that caught the eye of Nell Daffin of Malibu. Nice to know there’s a horse out there that’s never had a GUI (Galloping Under the Influence) violation. Obviously this one has a stable personality.

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NO LIGHTING--OR STICKING--UP ZONE: In Hollywood, Joe Eisaman of Beverly Hills encountered a pawnshop’s sign that seemed to be directed toward the type of character that Critters’ customers watch on TV. You’ll notice that the pawnshop forbids smoke of both the gun and tobacco varieties.