Correcting the cheapest shot ever at L.A....
Correcting the cheapest shot ever at L.A. men:
“Because of an editing error,” the New York Times wrote, “an article last Sunday about sperm counts misstated the average sperm count of men in Los Angeles. It is 72.7 million sperm per milliliter, not per millimeter.”
That’s about the size of it.
HER BRAIN MUST BE TOO HEAVY: Sad to report that part of a billboard cutout of Angelyne, ingenue emeritus, has come loose on Hollywood Boulevard. She’s lost her head.
AMAZING WHAT ROGAINE CAN DO: In a related development, Adam Hagen of West Hollywood found a billboard of a woman who received an unexpected hair extension (see photo).
MORE HEAD GAMES: Bob Bacharach of Palos Verdes spotted the license plate ME YRU on Hawthorne Boulevard and thinks he’s figured out the meaning. Can you?
A SOLDIER WHO LIVES ON BANANAS: Neill )Hicks of Granada Hills notes: “The thesaurus for Microsoft Word 6.0 provides the following synonyms for ‘gorilla’: militia, militiaman, warrior, subversive, freedom fighter, armed revolutionary, counterrevolutionary, combatant.”
Adds Hicks: “Just think of it--King Kong’s Contras! Where’s Ollie North when you need him?”
LIST OF THE DAY: Some excerpts from a Top 10 list of “things overheard during O.J.’s trip to England,” from the Late Show with David Letterman:
* “They’re golf gloves, O.J. They’re supposed to be tight.”
* “You’ll only need your passport, O.J., not the fake beard and $10,000 cash.”
* “So you’re also claiming that Mr. Fuhrman planted these mini-bar charges?”
* “For the last time, A.C., people here drive on the other side of the road.”
* “British Airways lost my luggage--just like Robert Kardashian did!”
BUT CAN WE GET HER NON-OWNERSHIP AUTHENTICATED: Sign spotted at Cosmos Upholstering in L.A.: “This chair for sale. Not from the estate of Jackie Kennedy.”
HEAD-GAME ANSWER: Bacharach translates ME YRU as “Why are you following me?”
DOUBLES: Several months ago, we received a note from author Art Fein, who began: “Sorry about the cancellation of your show . . .”
He was making a joking reference to the cancellation of a sitcom starring a comic named Steve Harvey, no relation. Well, we’re happy to see that our namesake has a new TV program, “The Steve Harvey Show.”
We love to bask in the reflected glory of others, though it can backfire. Years ago, we were invited to speak at a junior high school in the San Fernando Valley. The room was overflowing with students. But we noticed some frowns when we were introduced. One kid in the front row elbowed another and complained:
“I thought you said Steve GARVEY was going to talk today.”
miscelLAny:
Speaking of doppelgangers, this column is being written by the same Steve Harvey who said earlier this week that he was going on jury duty. We postponed the duty a week so we could help in the search for Angelyne’s head.
