Finding Child-Care Away From Home

Chris Buth felt like she’d been let out of jail on her last vacation--sleeping late and lounging on the beach.

“You can’t put a price on a full week of sleeping in,” said Buth, a suburban Chicago speech pathologist and mother of a baby and a 3-year-old.

But Buth and her husband, Mark, didn’t leave the kids behind. Instead, they took their regular sitter with them to Florida for a week. “I would do it again in a second,” said Buth, adding that the cost, including the price of a plane ticket and a few meals, was worth the R&R; time and flexibility that she and her husband got in return.

The arrangement also enabled the couple to spend more individual time with each child. “This was the first vacation with the kids that felt like a vacation,” Buth said. “I didn’t come back exhausted.”

Planning for time away from the kids on a family trip is an issue all parents face, whether their kids are toddlers or teens.

The issues are complex. How can you know when teens are old enough to stay alone in a hotel? Can you find a capable and kind baby sitter?

Some traveling families, leery of child-care providers they don’t know, like the idea of inviting an extra pair of hands along on the trip: A teenage neighbor or cousin, a single brother-in-law or grandparent, for example.

“If the kids like their grandparents, that can be kind of neat, though sometimes you have to negotiate how much they’ll watch the kids,” said Dr. Donald Greydanus, a Michigan State University pediatrics professor and adolescence expert.

I find, especially when I’m combining family time with work, bringing a sitter or another adult whom the kids know, provides the peace of mind and flexibility that we need. What if somebody gets sick? What if my meeting runs later than their scheduled activity?

Traveling with a familiar baby sitter is, of course, best for children, said Dr. Susan Aronson, a Pennsylvania pediatrician and professor who is the American Academy of Pediatrics spokeswoman on child-care issues. “Think of it from the child’s perspective,” she said, noting that they might feel strange in a place with a person they don’t know.

But bringing a sitter can be expensive and intrusive. That’s why some parents choose vacation locales--such as resorts--that offer children’s programs.

Other parents resign themselves to not getting a break when the kids are along. To avoid being left in the lurch, Los Angeles mother Carrie Carlisi networks with friends and relatives in other cities to arrange in advance for sitters when she’s visiting. She hires her friends’ favorite sitters and pays them well--so that they’ll be available next time.

Just as important for her 3-year-old, she said, is to leave him with other children he knows. “That way he’s with them and their baby sitter. He’s comfortable,” Carlisi said. “If we can’t find someone we know, I’ll take him with me.” Wherever you go, expect to pay more than at home--as much as $10 or $14 an hour, depending on where you are.

Hotels typically refer guests to licensed agencies, but all that means, experts explain, is that the agencies have met minimum state requirements for operating a business. Even if you hire a hotel employee, that’s no guarantee that that person has been thoroughly checked. All employers don’t necessarily require criminal background checks, hotel executives explain, although those who work in children’s programs typically have been.

If you go the agency route, ask questions, said Dorothy Thompson, a spokesman for the nonprofit National Assn. of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies.

Is the employment agency licensed and regulated? How long has it been in business?

Has the sitter been screened for a criminal record?

How much child-care experience does the sitter have?

Does the sitter know cardiopulmonary resuscitation and first aid?

Can you call references?

What kinds of activities would the sitter do with the kids?

How would that person handle an emergency?

Aronson advises that parents carry a beeper or cellular phone so that they can be reached instantly. “There’s no substitute for immediate access to a parent in an emergency,” she said. “It’s not like at home, where there is a lot of backup to help.”

Those who worry about calling sitters they don’t know may want to contact Child Care Aware ([800] 424-2246) before leaving home. The national referral program was founded in 1988 by Dayton Hudson Corp. in cooperation with prominent children’s advocacy groups to help parents find licensed day care providers in their area. Representatives can offer suggestions for finding a drop-in child-care center or a qualified baby-sitter in the area you will be visiting.

But what happens when the kids insist--as my older two do--that they no longer need a baby-sitter?

“The best thing is to discuss all the possibilities before you go on the trip--what the kids would do in case of fire, in case someone is banging on the door, in case they feel sick,” said Greydanus, the father of four teens and editor of the Academy of Pediatrics’ “Caring for Your Adolescent.”

Don’t make the vacation the first time they’re on their own, he said. And think twice before giving older siblings the responsibility for younger ones, even if they baby-sit at home. “Even the best kids can make mistakes in judgment. If you’ve got any doubts at all, don’t leave them,” Greydanus said. And when you do, remember to check in on them.

Taking the Kids appears the first and third week of every month.