They’re Playing by the Rules

Hi, I’m Ike Harmon. Just call me Eye-Key, which rhymes with a certain brand of shoes I hope to be hawking some day on TV.

To get that, I have to become famous. To get that, I have to have a basketball scholarship. To get that, I have to go to the right high school.

Santa Ana Valley. Yeah, that’s the place. It’s been loads of laughs here at Century, but see ya.

OK, so Ike Harmon is the villain here. The guy deserted his school, leaving Century for Santa Ana Valley. He basically told his teammates, “You’re not good enough.” He’s the one to blame. Boo. Hiss.

Wait. How can Harmon be the villain? He lives near Santa Ana Valley. His sisters attended that school. Sure, he spent two years at Century with his brother Thomas, but his transfer was legal under district and Southern Section rules.

So, he gets to play with Olujimi Mann, one of the nation’s top juniors.

Aha! We found him. Mann, yeah, he’s the villain. Olujimi, that 6-foot-4 all-world point guard. He played with Harmon on a traveling team this spring. Olujimi wouldn’t have had to say a word, just make a crisp pass to Harmon for a dunk. The message would be clear. Come with me, come with me. He’s the one to punish.

Wait. How can Mann be the villain? All he did was play some hoops with another exceptional player. They were just a couple of kids having some fun. And it was all legal under district and Southern Section rules.

So, Falcon Coach Rich Prospero gets Harmon, a 6-5 junior, to wear a Santa Ana Valley jersey.

There he is! Rich Prospero, he’s the villain. Was there ever any doubt? Just look at him. Shifty-eyes, bald head. Is he related to Jerry Tarkanian or what? The guy has a roster full of transfers. You know “bandit-program” is such an ugly phrase, but let’s use it. Why, he even played Harmon in three summer league games before the kid had even transferred. If the rotund one at that certain parochial school had done such a thing, it would have been pitchforks-and-torches time up on Bristol and Edinger. Let’s get Prospero.

Wait. It can’t be Prospero. Sure, he gaffed one by playing Harmon this summer. But an investigation showed no other wrong-doing. He got a slap on the wrist and, hopefully, a lesson learned. As to the plethora of out-of-towners on his roster, they are all legal under district and Southern Section rules.

So, he gets Harmon, a player college recruiters will covet in a couple seasons.

That’s it! Harmon’s parents, they’re the villains. Who else could it be? They don’t want to pay for a college education. You know those overzealous moms and dads. They shop their kids around and try to weasel deals. Anything, just to get their kids into the right program. Let’s call a social worker and find a foster home for the kid.

Wait. How can Harmon’s parents be villains? They just want their son to be happy and go to a school he enjoys. And, yes, have some fun on the basketball court. He is, after all, their child. And it’s all perfectly legal under district and Southern Section rules.

So people are going to see one fine Santa Ana Valley basketball team this season.

There we go! Society is the villain. Isn’t it always in these matters? We put too much emphasis on sports. We worship athletes like gods. We want our kids to be like Mike (in basketball, not baseball). And, always, we have an eye on the almighty dollar.

Wait. Society?

I have a headache.

There it is. Can’t find a villain. Only a victim.

Century Coach Greg Coombs, who counted on Harmon to anchor his team.

Sorry Greg.