THEATER REVIEW : Improv’s ‘Shear Madness’ Barely Cuts It

“Shear Madness,” just opened Downstairs at the Improv in Santa Monica, claims to be the longest-running non-musical in U.S. history. And that is no small smirch on this country’s cultural track record.

A no-brainer whodunit with a plot that makes “Murder, She Wrote” look like high art, this tacky little comedy’s gimmick is that it lets its audience help solve the stabbing murder of the concert pianist who lived above the hair salon in which the story is set.

It’s generic material. It’s not good farce. And most of the time--even with the interpolation of a hefty dose of topical and L.A.-specific humor--it’s not funny. None of this, however, seems to dissuade crowds like the one on opening night from playing along: asking questions of the suspect/actors, piecing together clues and voting for the bad guy of their choice.

What appeal there is stems chiefly from watching the six game cast members roll with these punches, adapting to and playing off of the dribs and drabs they get from the house. But you could pity these actors too, stuck as they are with this embarrassingly pedestrian script.

Matt Callahan, who’s got years of “Shear Madness” under his belt, is charismatic and energetic. Matt K. Miller shrewdly underplays his role as a cop. Michael Rothhaar’s antiques dealer and Betsy Zang’s society lady are aptly pompous, but not much else. Patrick Shea as the hairdresser gets, and milks, most of the one-liners, homophobic though they may be. And Leslie Sachs, last seen in “Melody Jones” at the Cast, deserves to be in a real play again soon.

Design and direction are credited to Bruce Jordan, one of the original perpetrators--er, creators--of “Shear Madness.” He and Marilyn Abrams debuted this piece in 1976 in Lake George, N.Y., and it doesn’t look as if the yellow flowered wallpaper motif has been changed since.

As for the show, it’s in its 15th year in Boston, 10th year in Chicago and could well sink its fangs in here too. But, hey, they haven’t found a cure for the common cold either.

* “Shear Madness,” Downstairs at the Improv, 321 Santa Monica Blvd. Santa Monica. Tuesdays-Fridays, 8 p.m., Saturdays, 5 & 9 p.m., Sundays, 3 & 7 p.m. Runs indefinitely. $31.50. (310) 260-1511. Running time: 2 hours.