These Players Might Benefit From a Few Quotes of Primer

For the Pittsburgh Steelers, what was there to dislike? The Pittsburgh Steeler Polka? Playing in the snow? Remembering how to spell Monongahela?

Maybe, but one of the biggest complaints was the playbook of former offensive coordinator Joe Walton. If it had gotten any bigger, it would have needed its own zip code.

Walton, now the head coach at Robert Morris College near Pittsburgh, has promised to streamline his playbook there.

But Walton also said the playbook might be a useful tool in determining who the real student-athletes are, sort of like freshman English.

Said Walton: “(The playbook) will be a good test to see if the players will get through (college).”

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Bell tolls for three: After Riddick Bowe, Lennox Lewis and Tommy Morrison all found ways last week not to fight the others, when they have been insisting all along that is all they wanted to do, boxing writer Ron Borges of the Boston Globe got fed up.

According to Borges, the three heavyweights “have proven once again that you can be 225 pounds and still be a lightweight.”

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Trivia time: What do Jim Palmer, Roger Clemens and Jimmy Key have in common?

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Same time next week: As usual, the Lakers and Boston Celtics play each other only twice next season. The NBA season is 5 1/2 months long. The Lakers play the Celtics on Feb. 27 and again five days later. So much for milking a long, drawn-out rivalry.

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Cloudy or sunny? Green Bay Packer quarterback Brett Favre said he has a quick answer for fans who repeat two words to him--”Super Bowl, Super Bowl.”

Said Favre: “I say ‘I hope so, I hope so.’ I don’t want to stick my foot in my mouth and say we’re going. Then next year, if we don’t, women are beating on me and children are hitting me where the sun don’t shine.”

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Montana a state of mind: Joe Montana fever seems to be spreading among Kansas City Chief fans. Last week, a woman watched Montana leave a tavern and grabbed an empty beer glass off his table for a souvenir. And a young male fan had to be pulled out from beneath Montana’s car in the parking lot at training camp.

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Planning ahead: Circle Oct. 3 on your calendar. That’s when the Texas Rangers end the season with a game against Kansas City and could give us Nolan Ryan facing George Brett in the last game for both.

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Whither Rickey? Rickey Henderson is in the final year of a four-year, $12-million deal, and there have been discussions between Henderson and the A’s about re-signing with Oakland.

They are not close yet. General Manager Sandy Alderson said: “So far, his expectations go far beyond ours.”

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Not impressed: Wallace Matthews of Newsday on Thursday’s statement by Vince Coleman of the New York Mets regarding the explosive device Coleman threw in the Dodger parking lot: “For all he said--and he spoke for less than two minutes and then was hustled away without answering questions--he left out the most important words: ‘I’m sorry.’ Instead, we got baseball’s equivalent of the Nixon Checkers Speech, minus Pat’s Republican cloth coat.”

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But Abe wasn’t a power hitter: Phil Jackman of the Baltimore Sun, noting that Reggie Jackson will have the induction ceremonies at Cooperstown on Sunday to himself: “People have been known to speak for seven minutes (Hank Aaron) or an hour (Happy Chandler), and Jackson is reminded that Abe Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address ran for little more than 200 words.”

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Trivia answer: They have never given up a grand slam. Palmer is retired.

Quotebook: Oakland’s Alderson on Henderson’s comments about playing for the Yankees or a contending team: “Apparently they’ve got his phone number mixed up with mine--he’s been getting calls I think I should be getting.”