Gays in the Military : Ex-Officer Says U.S. Should Follow Israel’s Example of Tolerance

HOLLYWOOD —  Nurit Shein, the new director of programs at the Gay and Lesbian Community Services Center in Hollywood, knows firsthand the concerns of homosexuals in the military. She is a lesbian--and a retired lieutenant colonel in the Israeli Army.

She revealed her sexual orientation at the time of her last promotion, in 1980.

“I felt that was the honest thing to do and the correct thing to do because at that time the number of women who were lieutenant colonel you could count on one hand,” said Shein, who oversaw the curriculum and training of all soldiers as head of the army’s education department.

“The response was, ‘You were a good officer last week and you’re a good officer this week,’ and that was that,” Shein said.

But in public life, Shein kept her sexual orientation private because of severe intolerance, she said. She told only her immediate family and her very closest friends. Shein moved to the United States in 1991 and found exactly the opposite: tolerance in the outside world and intolerance in the armed services.

“One of the things that’s keeping me here is that I feel I’m able to better incorporate the private and the public here,” said Shein, who plans to return to Israel eventually. “I have been a lot more hesitant in Israel than I am here because of the level of intolerance.”

Shein, who has been director of the gay and lesbian center since December, appeared on “Get Used To It,” a Hollywood cable television program on gay and lesbian issues, to discuss her experiences in the army. She hopes to teach America something about tolerance in the army and learn something about tolerance in society.

The former Tel Aviv resident explained in a recent interview that although the Israeli army’s actions are commendable, its motives are not entirely altruistic. Israel’s need for a strong military requires that it draft all 18-year-olds, male and female, she said. There are programs for national service and exemptions for strictly observant Jews, married women and those who are ill, but a person who states that he or she is homosexual does not receive an exemption.

“It’s not so much that we want to make a stand pro-homosexual, has v’halila (Hebrew for ‘God forbid’),” Shein said. “It’s just that we need every able person.”

No matter the reason, Shein said, Israeli policy demonstrates an important lesson.

“Hopefully, whoever is examining the question on behalf of the American government will look at other armies who don’t make an issue about homosexuals serving, and from that perspective the Israeli army is a great model. It is efficient, strong and proven.

“Unfortunately, we have fought more wars than most armies in the world and we have proved that having homosexuals serving in the army hasn’t led to a lesser level of performance both in wartime and in peacetime.”

The dismissal of homosexual officers in the American military is common, but Shein said she knows of no Israeli officers discharged because of their sexual orientation.

“I’m not saying it didn’t happen, but if it did happen, that person did not come forward and say, ‘I was discharged because I’m gay,’ ” she said.

Shein rose through the ranks of the Israeli Defense Forces in a break from the traditional path. Instead of entering the army at 18, she received an academic deferment to attend college, earning a master’s degree in English literature and a teaching credential. During summer breaks, Shein completed basic training and an officer’s course and began her two-year compulsory service as a second lieutenant. She earned the rank of lieutenant colonel in just under 11 years, a process that usually takes at least 15 years.

What Shein said the U.S. military and the Israeli army have in common is their treatment of women.

“I don’t ever recall being judged on my sexuality. The discrimination was more focused on being a woman than being a lesbian. There is discrimination in the army just as there is discrimination against women everywhere.”

But in her civilian life, Shein found homophobia rampant.

There has never been a gay parade in Israel, Shein said. Young men infected with HIV sometimes refrain from requesting AZT from the national health service because of the stigma of being gay.

Shein said she decided against having children because of the disapproval she would face because of her sexuality. Now, at 44, she regrets that decision.

“I’m sorry to this day that I didn’t, very sorry,” Shein said. “What we carry around with us as to the shame and the guilt needs to be healed.”

Despite Shein’s positive experience in the Israeli army, other gays and lesbians recently testified that they encountered discrimination in Israel’s armed forces.

Last month, bedlam erupted in the Israeli parliament when Knesset member Yael Dayan called for an end to such discrimination. Dayan referred to the biblical love between Jonathan and David as an example of homosexuality in Judaism, evoking fierce response from ultra-Orthodox members of the Knesset. She also conducted a Knesset hearing in which gays and lesbians testified about discrimination, particularly in the government and armed forces.

At the Gay and Lesbian Community Services Center, Shein oversees a variety of programs, including a shelter for homeless teens, HIV services, job training programs and help with writing wills.

The fact that the center receives government funding signifies to Shein a level of tolerance she hopes, one day, to import to Israel.

“I want to be here and expand myself and really learn how to do these things to eventually bring them back home,” Shein said. “If you don’t take pride in who you are, nobody will, and that is what I have learned here in the states.”