Aerospace executives, friends and reporters invited to...

Aerospace executives, friends and reporters invited to a ceremony honoring Ben Rich, the former chief of the Lockheed unit that built the Stealth fighter, were each given a photo of the plane. Among those who asked the widely respected Rich to autograph the shot was Roy Harris, a Wall Street Journal reporter. Rich signed the glossy photo with a blue felt pen.

A few minutes later, Harris noticed that the autograph was no longer visible.

“I guess it was a stealth signature,” Harris said.

Don’t you hate it when visiting writers exaggerate about life in L.A.?

In an article for Good Weekend, an Australian magazine, Vince Sorrenti describes L.A. as a place with “millions of Angelenos sitting in air-conditioned cars traveling at 5 kilometers an hour along 10-lane freeways in a soup of bad air.”

Look here, Sorrenti: Most freeways in L.A. have only eight lanes.

By the way, he wrote that his favorite L.A. bumper sticker was: “Keep Honking--I’m Reloading.”

G’day!

“Latin for Even More Occasions,” a book by Henry Beard, contains numerous handy phrases for inhabitants of Oppidum Bracteatum (Tinsel Town) or anywhere else in Terra La-La (La-La Land):

* For the Valley Girl: Omnino mirabile fuit--volo dicere, vero probe radicitus! (“It was totally awesome--I mean, really copious rad!”)

* For the Dodger fan needling the opposition: Nihil tundit, nihil tundit, nihil tundit! (“No batter, no batter, no batter!”).

* For the disc jockey: Hoc Fama Mihi, Cursum Sinuosum Secuta, Nuntiat . (“I Heard It Through the Grapevine”)

* For the Century City attorney: In curro meo ab Officina Baiuoaria Mechanica fabricato beo machinam quae litteras per aethera transmittit . ( “I have a fax machine in my BMW.”)

* For the Century City attorney who shouldn’t have bought that extra BMW: Ego decoctor iuris consulto Alano Dershowitzi utor . (“My bankruptcy lawyer is Alan Dershowitz.”)

* And, for the tourist at the rental car counter: Nolo cisium exiguum . (“I don’t want a subcompact.”)

The Raiders and Rams fell short, but there is one L.A. team in a Super Bowl--the LAPD’s Centurions. The cop gridders, who compete on their own time, will meet Metro-Miami’s Magnum Force Feb. 8 in the Super Police Bowl for charity in the L.A. Memorial Coliseum.

The LAPD, led by Officer Randy Garcia (a former Nebraska quarterback), recently collared an Orange County team of cops, the Lawmen, 35-20. Metro-Miami, meanwhile, is coming off a 17-7 trouncing of New York’s Finest.

Applicants for admission to Whittier College are given a choice of essay questions to answer, including this doozy:

“Imagine your 25th year Whittier College class reunion. Among your former classmates are several millionaires, the U.S. President, a best-selling novelist and the discoverer of a cancer cure. Yet you are the guest of honor. Why?”

Obviously, you must be a witty TV weatherman.

miscelLAny:

A bill sponsored by state Sen. Ralph C. Dills (D-Gardena) designated the Chipped Stone Bear as the official emblem of the state. The 8,000-year-old stone fragment, found by Cypress College students during an archeological dig, is chipped into the shape of a bear.