Cold Finances of Funeral Biz Slam Coffin Lid on Burial Wish

Carol Reid, who is 69 years old and was diagnosed with colon cancer six years ago, has a simple wish.

When she dies, she wants to be buried in a pine box.

She wants to be buried with dignity but she doesn’t want to spend a lot of money. She prefers to leave her modest savings to her sister and nephew.

She already has a plot at Mt. Hope Cemetery. And, until recently, she thought she had a deal for a plain pine coffin from Pacific Beach Mortuary.

Fifteen years ago, Reid paid $20 toward a $180 pine coffin. At the time, pine was the cheapest coffin material around.

When she had her cancer operation 5 1/2 years ago, she was comforted by the thought that, if she died on the operating table, her funeral plans were secure.

But recently Reid, a retired office worker, got a shocker: her deal for a pine coffin doesn’t exist. A lot has changed in 15 years, and Reid doesn’t know whom to blame.

The bank that acted as go-between for the “pre-need arrangement” was gobbled up by another bank. Pacific Beach Mortuary was sold to new owners. The bank and mortuary employees who sold Reid on the deal are gone.

Harry Grobe, the new funeral director at Pacific Beach Mortuary, says the paperwork shows that Reid put down $20 as a deposit but never made the other payments.

Reid, who gets quite agitated when she explains the situation, says she thought $20 was enough, with the rest payable upon her death. She feels she was duped.

Another problem: Casket costs have zoomed.

“A lot of people still have an idea from Western movies about a plain pine casket being quite cheap,” Grobe said.

A pine coffin that once went for $180 is now more like $800. The cheapest coffins ($500) are now corrugated cardboard or particle-board (the kind of compressed sawdust used for rumpus-room bookshelves).

The thought of being buried in a coffin of corrugated cardboard or particle-board strikes Reid as the final indignity of a hard life.

“I wouldn’t want my family to know I’m in a cardboard coffin,” Reid said. “I’d rather be cremated, and I’ve always hated the idea of cremation.”

She plans to write to some politicians but she doubts it will help.

Filner Does Familiar Dance

More matter, less art.

* Political rumors persist that San Diego Councilman Bob Filner is shifting his desires from a congressional race to a run for mayor instead.

Filner won’t say which way he’s leaning. He’s keeping all options open.

So open that some at City Hall are calling him “Mario,” after another indecisive liberal (also from New York).

* North County bumper sticker: “Politically Incorrect and Proud of It.”

* Vernon Lamarr Clark, the jobless construction worker turned bank robber whose case was profiled (“Bank Holdup Is a Desperate Cry for Help”) by Times reporter Alan Abrahamson, is now being interviewed by Time magazine and CNN.

* Bob Tatum, vice president and founder of a San Diego electronics firm, is considering a run for the Republican nomination in the new congressional district in San Diego: as soon as the lines are drawn.

* The Alcoholics Anonymous group in North Park has added sign-language for the hearing impaired.

* Headline in The Scout, the newspaper at Camp Pendleton: “Demolition Day Makes a Big Bang.”

50 Ways to Cook Your Turkey

Unsure how to cook your Thanksgiving turkey?

Here are some suggestions from students, ages 3 to 5, at Bethlehem Community Preschool in Encinitas.

Elyse Cowles: Cook in barbecue for 10 hours and bake for 9 hours.

Kayce Galindo: Put thermometer in turkey. Cook for 5 minutes in 5-degree heated oven. Take off juice in squeezer and then eat.

Matthew Friend: Put in oven, cook for a whole day.

Taylor Gaston: Put cornmeal on outside of turkey. Put the rest of the stuff inside. Barbecue for 6 minutes on medium heat. Take out and cool for 2 seconds.

Tim Sievers: You put a turkey in a turkey pot and put pot on stove. Keep on stove for a lot of minutes. Then put turkey on the table.

April Ducommun: Put turkey in freezer. Then barbecue in hot sauce. Stuff with chocolate chip cookies. Bake for 30 minutes.