A Boxing Card With Characters

The promoters called it the “Night of the Living Legends.” One writer called it the “Night of the Living Dead.” Another called it the “Night of the Fighting Fossils.”

It all came apart Thursday night at Rochester, N.Y., where George Foreman knocked out a guy named Mark Young, who once lasted all of 50 seconds with Mike Tyson, and where Aaron Pryor was a last-minute scratch after failing to pass the eye examination.

The card boasted a number of intriguing characters, including Bruce (The Mouse) Strauss who was stiffened by Harry Arroyo in two rounds.

Strauss’ record is listed at 73-50-5, but Randy Gordon of the New York State Athletic Commission said, “He’s got more aliases than most guys have fights.”

Said Wallace Matthews of Newsday: “Strauss, who will be 37 next month, has fought in every weight class from lightweight to heavyweight. He has fought his brother and fought as his brother. He has fought his own fighters. He has fought three times in 1 week.

“His name appears, with a “KO by” next to it, in the records of former world champions Bobby Czyz, Marlon Starling and Mike McCallum, as well as contenders Vampire Johnson, David Braxton and Jean-Marie Emebe. The guys who have lost to him change their identities under the Federal Witness Protection Program to save their families embarrassment.”

Add Strauss: “Several times,” said Matthews, “he was supposed to work in a guy’s corner but wound up fighting him because the opponent failed to show. One time, he fought in Omaha the night after being stopped by Bobby Czyz on ESPN, and was recognized by a fan at ringside. He told the fan, ‘That was my brother, Mouse Strauss. I’m Moose Strauss.’ ”

Trivia Time: What do Doc Rivers, Bo Schembechler and Pop Warner have in common? (Answer below.)

Just Asking: Wonder if Cincinnati Bengals defensive end Jim Skow cried “foul” when he saw Sports Illustrated’s featured picture on the Super Bowl, a shot of Joe Montana throwing a pass. Skow is being blocked by San Francisco tackle Harris Barton, who appears to have a firm grip on Skow’s jersey with his left hand.

George Seifert, new coach of the San Francisco 49ers, had a 3-15 record in 2 years as the head coach at Cornell.

Keith Olbermann said on KNX that he covered the 1976 team and said a typical Cornell series was three straight running plays, which went nowhere, followed by a punt.

“It was the most unimaginative offense I’ve ever seen,” Olbermann said.

Golden State Coach Don Nelson, on the shot 6-foot 1-inch Isiah Thomas made over 7-7 Manute Bol to give the Detroit Pistons a victory over the Warriors Wednesday night: “There are only five players in the NBA that can do that and you have one of them right here in Detroit. I don’t know who the other four are, either, by the way.”

Dan Hampton of the Chicago Bears wastes little time in returning home to Arkansas once the season ends.

His wife Terry told the Chicago Tribune, “He gives me a half hour to pack. He puts a sheet down on the floor and says, ‘Put whatever you want in it.’ Then he slings it over his shoulder like Santa Claus and heads for the car.”

Trivia Answer: The same first name, Glenn.

Quotebook

Walt Garrison, former Dallas Cowboys fullback, asked if Tom Landry ever smiles: “I don’t know. I only played there 9 years.”