Resilience and honesty are words for the season

Peace, love, and joy.

Those are the three qualities we most associate with Christmas. But there are two others that it might also be appropriate to consider this holiday season:

Resilience and honesty.

After the terrorist attacks in Paris, I wrote about how parents can speak to their children about such horrific events and help them learn to cope with fear and adversity. For that column I consulted Dennis Greenberger, a clinical psychologist and director of the Anxiety and Depression Center in Newport Beach.

Little did we know at the time how quickly and close to home the next attack would occur. Last week I spoke with Greenberger again to discuss the San Bernardino massacre, and this time our talk focused on the topic of resilience.

The American Psychological Association defines resilience as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress.” This ability to bounce back has often been overlooked and undervalued relative to other traits such as intelligence and raw talent. But it has in recent years been getting more attention as an important factor not just in recovering from difficult circumstances but also in fostering happy, fulfilling, successful lives.

What I found interesting about Greenberger’s comments was his professional opinion that resilience is not just an inherent trait that some people have and others don’t. Rather, he said, resilience can be taught and learned. It can be passed on from parents to children through words and deeds, by talking to kids about how we grow through our failures and by showing them how we deal with everything from small setbacks to major crises.

He reminded me of a famous quote attributed to Thomas Edison, who didn’t consider his unworkable laboratory designs unsuccessful: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Another of Greenberger’s key observations is that people generally are much more resilient than they realize.

He pointed to research done in the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks. The New York City Department of Health found that as many as 20% of adults who were directly exposed to the World Trade Center disaster experienced symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, a rate that is about four times higher than that in the general population.

But turn that figure around, Greenberger said, and we see that 80% of those who underwent some of the most terrible trauma imaginable were able to persevere without becoming disabled by long-term psychological effects. And although for many, the PTSD symptoms have persisted, many others were able to achieve some level of recovery through treatment and support.

I was struck by one other observation of Greenberger’s. He pointed to the link between resilience and optimism, a connection that I previously had not considered. He pointed me to the work of psychologist Martin Seligman, author of “Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life.”

Seligman, who is known as a father of the positive psychology movement, has shown through research that optimists experience greater well-being because they aren’t deterred by defeat and perceive negative situations as challenges that can be overcome. And, like resilience, optimism can be learned, just as negativity can be unlearned.

“In order to be resilient, we have to have a sense of hope and optimism, the idea that things can get better,” Greenberger said. “It’s not rose-colored glasses. It’s realistic. We don’t see ourselves as victims.”

These comments resonate as we observe the people of Paris and San Bernardino work through the psychological rubble left from the attacks. I’ve been most impressed by so many of those cities’ residents who have expressed resoluteness and fortitude as they attempt to rebuild and recapture some sense of normalcy in their lives. They are the face of resilience.

Now a few words about honesty.

As previously reported by the Daily Pilot, an appeals court ruled this month that the Newport-Mesa Unified School District must release dozens of documents related to allegations made by the former director of human resources.

John Caldecott, readers may remember, was fired after he filed a lawsuit against the district and Supt. Fred Navarro in January to try to force the release of the documents. He has said that he suspects some salary reports to the state teachers’ retirement system were incorrect and could lead to improperly inflated pensions.

Whether or not Caldecott’s suspicions bear out, the district has squandered money and good will with its battle to keep the documents from public viewing. Much has been made recently of the need for transparency in our public agencies, and what is transparency if not a dimension of honesty? Such secretive, defensive behavior as that demonstrated by Newport-Mesa Unified’s power structure is never good policy – for the school district or any other institution. If mistakes were made, it’s long past time to own up to the transgressions and commit to openness going forward.

We deserve honesty from our school officials, now and always.

On that note, I return to the Christmas ideals of peace, love and joy. May you all be blessed with these gifts this holiday season.

PATRICE APODACA is a former Newport-Mesa public school parent and former Los Angeles Times staff writer. She lives in Newport Beach.