There’s still a place for dress codes

Fashion changes, but school dress code battles never seem to go out of style.

Some readers might have seen recent media reports about an El Toro High School teenager who has taken her dispute over her school’s dress code public. As of Friday, her online petition, “Help Me Demand an End to the Sexist Dress Code At My High School,” had garnered more than 12,000 supporters.

She’s hardly alone in challenging dress codes. Similar stories have been playing out at schools across the country. The El Toro teen’s petition is one of many similarly inclined protests posted on the website thepetitionsite.com. (I stopped counting after about 50.)

The students make some valid points. Many state that some rules appear arbitrary and are often inconsistently enforced. Some feel that not enough explanation is given for why certain attire is singled out for violations. The majority argue that girls suffer disproportionately from such rules and lose valuable class time as a result.

In her petition, El Toro High student Danielle Ernst contends that her school’s dress code violates her constitutional right to free speech. She states that her mode of dress is a “form of expression” akin to music and art.

The teen also objects to the dress code for unfairly targeting females.

“It is incredibly sexist and offensive to tell someone what they are wearing is inappropriate for school or too distracting,” she states. “I was called out of class for 10 minutes to be told what I was wearing was wrong, which was unfair to my education. In order to potentially protect someone else’s education, mine was harmed in the process. Along with being self-deprecating, the school also contributes to rape culture and the sexualization of women.”

I have to give Ernst and the other students protesting school dress codes points for creativity and debating skills. And I certainly share concerns over our culture’s objectification of women.

So, nice try kids. But I’m not buying it, at least not most of it.

I saw a published picture of the outfit Ernst was wearing when she was dress-coded, and her shirt is indeed very low cut. I’m inclined to think that any student or teacher — male or female — would find it distracting. That’s just reality, and a school has every right to insist that certain areas of students’ bodies — again, male or female — remain covered.

Yes, girls are no doubt subjected to greater scrutiny than boys, and I’m sure there are times when codes are unreasonably restrictive or too harshly applied. But students couching their objections in high-minded talk about artistic expression and constitutional rights seems more a means of deflecting from the true motives of adolescents everywhere: to test limits and act out in ways that can often run counter to their demands for respect.

I find it disingenuous for young women to dress in an intentionally provocative manner and then express outrage when they are called out for it. Don’t forget, kids, moms like me were once teenagers too, and we haven’t entirely forgotten what it feels like to want to push buttons.

As a mother of two sons, my biggest apparel concerns centered primarily on whether my boys’ clothes were clean, had no discernible holes and were a decent-enough fit. So I asked about a dozen friends with daughters about their take on this issue.

The responses were thoughtful and nuanced. They all expressed strong support for school dress codes and their enforcement, and many even wished that the whole problem could be dealt with by all schools requiring uniforms, although as one mom pointed out, even uniform policies are often circumvented too.

Yet these mothers also empathized with at least some of their daughters’ frustrations. Teenage girls are constantly confronted with over-sexualized media images and a confusing array of societal messaging at a time when they are struggling to both fit in and discover their own unique identities.

Moreover, many of these moms have found it challenging to shop for clothing for their daughters. It’s not always easy these days to find fashionable shorts, skirts, and tops for teens that aren’t somewhat revealing, or strictly in adherence with some school dress codes. A few also noted that outfits that seem unexceptional on one girl might appear more sexy on another due to differing body types.

But they didn’t let schools off the hook either.

Many of these moms said that while they are supportive of dress codes generally, too often they find that the policies are ambiguous, inconsistently applied and not accompanied by meaningful discussion and context.

As one of my friends said, “The missing component in public schools that would complement the dress codes is training for boys and girls on mutual respect.”

This is an issue that, unfortunately, will probably never go away, and will continue to be a point of division between parents and their children, students and schools, and schools and parents. Adults will attempt to exert their authority, and kids will continue to defy them.

As for students that think the matter important enough to mobilize an organized protest movement, I only hope that all that passion will one day be directed toward solving more pressing issues. Perhaps they’ll realize some day that there are far more important problems in the world than being required to cover tank tops and wear 4-inch inseams while in class.

PATRICE APODACA is a former Newport-Mesa public school parent and former Los Angeles Times staff writer. She lives in Newport Beach.