Commentary: Resolutions should extend beyond self-improvement

You kept Thanksgiving from being overshadowed by Black Friday; gratitude and family ties triumphed over excess consumerism. Then you cherished the deeper meaning of Christmas and kept the Christmas spirit alive. Love, peace and charity became the best gifts to give and receive.

But what about your New Year’s resolutions?

I’ve found that making resolutions can be tricky, especially when you’re trying to meet them all by yourself. It can become an exercise in futility. Resolutions are more easily met and mastered with the support and cooperation of family, friends and others. Or, best of all, by leaning on a deeper, divine power.

Indeed, the resolutions I like to focus on are not the ever-popular behavioral changes like dieting or exercising, but are related to the underlying spiritual issues which affect how we behave. There’s a quote in the Bible that really clarifies for me why looking beyond just our physical needs in this way is important. In his first letter to Timothy, Paul wrote: “… physical training is of some value but godliness has value for all things holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.”

Instead of just changing my life or body for the better, my goal is to make the kind of lasting difference in myself that orients me more to wanting to help others and therefore, I hope, to make the world just that little bit better.

And what are my resolutions? Promoting spiritual growth in all aspects of my life and health.

How does that make the world a better place? I like the way the late Mary Baker Eddy, Christian author and researcher on the link between health and spirituality, relates the two.

She stated, “… by purifying human thought, this state of mind permeates with increased harmony all the minutiae of human affairs. It brings with it wonderful foresight, wisdom and power; it unselfs the mortal purpose, gives steadiness to resolve, and success to endeavor.”

To me, the phrase “unself the mortal purpose,” means putting aside the materialistic self-centeredness that can so tempt us and striving instead to uncover within ourselves not only unselfishness but also a deeper spiritual love for others. This love strives to see family, friends, and even strangers as God sees them, and that can bring healing.

As an example, I wholeheartedly participate with my wife in her goal of maintaining a strong connection with our immediate family through weekly emails. All our family naturally participates. When there is a problem, we all work to solve it on this spiritual basis, and when there’s something to celebrate, we do just that. This promotes family harmony and creates stronger, more spiritual bonds.

When human will is our main means toward forwarding our goals, our resolve can quickly falter or our willfulness may sometimes make others suffer. But there’s a natural support system in knowing our relationship to the Divine and in the spiritual connections that helps us cultivate connections with others.

Rather than “going it alone,” each of us has the opportunity to achieve our resolutions through spiritual growth that build deeper friendships and stronger bonds.

DON INGWERSON lives in Laguna Beach with his wife, and they are both Christian Science practitioners.