Hansen: Did the ballyhooed airport trading cards fly away?

“Aviation geeks rejoice.”

That’s what it says in the press material promoting the new airport trading cards recently unveiled by Airports Council International, the only worldwide professional association of airport operators.

If you’re not an aviation geek, let me explain. Think baseball trading cards — but for airports.

While most people nowadays are content to add a hashtag to their hobby and call it a day, they are not traditionalists, especially when it comes to planes.

John Wayne Airport is one of 35 locations that has started handing out the cards, which have a snazzy picture on the front and informational tidbits on the back. These locations join a long list of organizations that have physically promoted their product or service with a card.

“Orange County has a long, colorful aviation history, and I’m delighted we can share that with passengers through the trading card program,” Orange County Supervisor Michelle Steel for District 2 said in the news release.

That’s if you can find the trading cards.

It seems the shine has already worn off the program, which launched a couple weeks ago.

Coincidentally, I recently made a trip out of John Wayne for Orlando. I thought it might be fun to see what these cards were all about.

As I arrived at the check-in kiosk for an early morning flight, I looked for an extra long line with people holding Sharpies like they were kids at a comic book convention. Alas, there were lots of lines but nothing out of the ordinary.

Once through security, I again looked for signage or a display. Nothing. So I did what many people do: I went to the nearest bar.

“Do you know anything about the airport trading card program?” I asked a 30-something, bearded bartender.

“Um, no, I don’t,” he said, putting the garnish on a Bloody Mary.

It was, after all, 7 in the morning.

So I wandered around and stopped at a Brookstone store. A clerk was just opening up.

“Hi, have you heard anything about the new airport trading cards?” I asked.

“No, I’m sorry. You might check with South Coast News,” the clerk said, pointing down the terminal.

As I was walking toward South Coast News, I wondered if the Brookstone clerk thought I said “playing cards,” as if I would engage my random flying partner next to me in a game of cards instead of talking the whole trip.

When I arrived at the sundry store, which for some inexplicable reason sells seven varieties of bottled water, I approached a group of three employees huddled near the cash register.

“Excuse me, do you have any news about the airport trading card program?” I asked, immediately regretting the way I asked the question.

Two of the clerks looked to the third clerk, who apparently was the boss.

“The what?” the boss asked.

“Airport trading cards. They’re little cards given out by the airport?” I said, feebly making a rectangular shape with my hands.

“No sir,” she said. “You can use the airport information phone right outside.”

By this time, I was starting to lose hope until I actually saw the airport information phone, also known as the “white courtesy phone,” which, given my state of mind, I equated to the Batphone and wondered if there was a Batman Batphone trading card.

Once I finally punched the right numbers, I got a voice-mail message saying the airport customer relations department would not open until 8 a.m. With my flight already boarding, I would have to wait.

Until I arrived in Orlando!

It turns out the Orlando airport is on the trading-card circuit. It took three information booths, but I finally found a supervisor who knew about the cards. He dug deep underneath a counter and pulled out a fistful of cards strapped with a rubber band, clearly unused.

As he handed one to me, I felt the rush of airport geekdom.

“MCO,” the card said in big letters, representing the airport’s call sign.

I cradled the card like I did my new shiny baseball cards when I was, like, 9.

“MCO,” I whispered to myself, smiling, walking toward a taxi. “My Card Ordeal.”

One down, 34 to go.

DAVID HANSEN is a writer and Laguna Beach resident. He can be reached at [email protected].